Punishment
by Runic Knight
Summary: Hanajima Saki's life was never normal, and she doesn't expect it to change. Perhaps friendship and a blossoming romance with Sohma Hatsuharu could change her perspective on life. Happiness is at the end of the tougher path, but can that prize be reached?
1. Within The Interzone

Type: Chaptered; Alternate Universe   
Genre: Drama / Angst / Romance   
By Runic Pange   
Rating: PG. May raise to PG-13 later

Punishment   
**Chapter 1: Within The Interzone**

The bright morning sun streamed through the slats in the window shade, casting shadows across the room. Lying in bed in the centre of the room was a raven haired girl. A warm comforter covered her entire body as she slept. She finally woke when the sun's rays became too much for her, and she turned away from the bright light. Another Monday morning. Mondays meant school, and school meant she had to get up early. Familiar noises of breakfast made their way from the lower floor of her average-sized house up to her ears, so she climbed out of bed to get ready for the day. Even after weeks of being out of school, Hanajima Saki could remember the routine well.

Saki could hear a bit of white noise crackling around her in the room, the angry voices of people in the city, but she tried to tune it out. She sighed as she closed the glass window and blinds, and the room became dark once again. It was easier to hear herself think without the obscure distractions from outdoors: birds chirping, cars driving past their house, and young children already using their time to play before school began.

School was always a chore, keeping away from the other children. Recently, she had been transferred to a new school because of an accident that had occurred. It was more than an accident. She hated thinking about it, but the thoughts crept into her mind nonetheless. The students at her old school didn't accept her, and were constantly torturing her. They didn't understand what it was like to be alone and scared every minute of the day. They couldn't hear the dark voices that came at her, pestering her. They would never understand her, and that was Saki's 'curse.' She should always be alone, that was what the voices meant.

When the bullying got worse, Saki's life fell apart. She was ridiculed by everyone, and was subjected to cruel jokes. She was the 'witch' that all the other children feared, and for that she was burned. Witches should be burned at the stake, they had proclaimed, so that is what they wanted to accomplish with her. Several children held her down against her desk after school, the teacher already gone, while a memorable boy in a green sweatshirt held a burning match against her arm. It was a slow and searing pain, but Saki closed her eyes and endured it until a teacher walked past the open door to discover them crowded around her. They escaped from reprimands by saying that she was trying to burn herself. They convinced the teacher that they were trying to stop her from hurting herself. It was too easy to believe that the girl who spoke to no one would be suicidal. Saki didn't tell the teacher otherwise, merely staring at her assaulters and the teacher who was shaking her head in dismal disapproval. Saki found that her words always made everything worse in past situations, so she said nothing.

But in her head, much was going on. That boy who had hurt her that day had an accident on his way home from a friend's house. He was found alone and hurt in an alleyway. It wasn't a physical beating, it was something else. He was nearly dead, yet there was no explanation for the injuries. Saki had wished for the worst to happen to him with all of her being, and it had happened. It was her cursed powers that had nearly led her to be a murderer. That wasn't what she had wanted to accomplish, and that thought tormented her. She had been so close to taking a life away, and it hurt.

That wasn't at all what she wanted. Life is precious. Even the life of a heartless person is important.

From then on, all she could do was warn people to stay away. She would never hurt a person, no matter what happened to her. It was her self-inflicted punishment to stay away from everyone. It was her curse.

Now, she had to start a new life at a new school. Her mistake couldn't be repeated, she would make sure to control her mind. After a few weeks of being out of school, her mother told her that it was time to go and try again.

* * * * *

**I've never felt this so alone.   
  
Was nothing sacred I've been shown?   
  
I feel I'm sinking like a stone in the interzone.**

* * * * *

She slipped on her new uniform. It was a simple blue sailor top with a pleated blue skirt. She twisted her hair masterfully into a long braid which fell down her back. She would never have picked this type of outfit willingly; she had worn mournful clothes since the accident. While wearing the combination of an expressionless smile and black clothes, people were always frightened to be near her. She picked up a small dark container and unscrewed the lid. With a small brush, she swept the contained liquid across each nail until every surface was covered. Her nails, now painted black, would warn everyone to stay away. It was the proof of her sin.

"Goodbye, Mother," Saki called out as she pulled on her long cloak. It was a monstrosity in comparison to what was considered to be fashionable attire from the eyes of her peers, but it served its purpose well. It isolated her and told everyone she was 'different.'

"Saki-chan, wait, wait!" An older woman carrying a tiny little girl in her arms practically flew down the stairs. "Are you sure you have everything read? Why don't I drive you to school today, hm?" She shifted the little girl in her arms and plucked her car keys off a hook on the wall.

"Thank you," Saki said, grateful to receive the ride. She knew why she was being offered it. A few months prior, on her walk to school, a neighbour noticed that she had been pushed to the ground by one of the other students, and notified her mother of what had happened. Since then, her mother tried to arrange a ride for her to school. It was sometimes difficult, for she was raising five children practically by herself, only with the help of Saki's grandmother. Her father seemed to be constantly working in order to pay the rising costs of their household.

They headed down their driveway and into the van. Saki was the eldest child in the family, but her mother seemed to worry about her the most. She knew that Saki was different from the others, and she really wanted to help her daughter overcome her troubles. Saki watched out the windows as trees of all kinds zoomed by in front of her eyes, all living symbiotically together at the side of the roads. Why couldn't she be like those trees if that was what she wanted? Pine trees mingled with spruce and shared the nutrients in the soil, did they not?

"We're here!" her mother announced, stopping the car in front of the school. "Are you ready? I'm sure that you'll be all right today."

From the backseat, her four year old sister uneasily called out, "Goodbye, 'Nee-san." Naru had always been afraid of her, but Saki didn't blame her. Sitting beside Naru, her only brother Megumi nodded goodbye, a slight smile of understanding on his face.

"Yes, Mother, I'll be okay. Sayonara." Saki forced out a smile and slid the van door shut behind her. The tall building of Kaibara High loomed ahead of her - a new start, but for Saki everything always seemed to end the same way.

Around the property behind the chain link fence, uniformed students stood in small groups discussing their weekend activities. Some were heading on their way inside the building to their homerooms. Saki looked back expectantly at her mother who was still parked out in front of the school, and gave her a discreet wave. Finally, her mother pulled out of the parking lot and headed on her way to drop Megumi off at his junior high school, Naru at her preschool; and finally home to take care of the two younger children who remained at home with Saki's grandmother. She was a busy woman with such young children to care for.

Saki walked up the steps, unsure where to start. She followed the crowds of students in the halls until she passed a room which was clearly marked 'Office.' Inside, she saw a secretary sitting behind a counter. Even though school hadn't started yet, the woman was flooded with paperwork to deal with. Saki waited patiently to be acknowledged, but it seemed that she wouldn't be so easily distracted from her work. She coughed slightly, and the woman looked up from a form.

"Yes?"

"I'm Hanajima Saki. I believe I'm supposed to pick up a schedule from here to begin school today."

"Oh, you've just transferred in, have you?" The woman adjusted her glasses and eyed Saki's extravagant coat with distaste. "We have a dress code here - that coat is not appropriate. Didn't you receive the school uniform in the mail?"

_Strike One_. "Yes, I have it on right now." She parted the overlapping portion of her cloak and pulled it open to reveal the hidden uniform.

"Well, take off that coat right away. Here," she set two slips of paper on the edge of the desk, "this is your schedule for this semester. These are your homeroom number, assigned locker number and locker combination. Since you're a late arrival, your locker isn't going to be near your new classmates, but you'll have to live with that. Now, off you go, you don't want to be late on your first day of class." She gave a fake looking smile and returned to her work.

Saki walked out of the office, still wearing her cloak as she stared at her schedule. On the back of the sheet was a vague map of the school showing where the classrooms were in relation to each other. Her homeroom was on the first floor, but her locker was on the second. Looking around her, she could tell that class was about to start - the hallways were starting to clear as students filtered into their classrooms. There was no time to find her locker now, so she instead focused on finding her homeroom. The voices of the lingering students echoed of the walls and magnified in her head. The halls became emptier and a glance at the clock told her she didn't have much time left. _Where is room 108? It has to be somewhere._ The voices came to a rest once she realized that she was alone in the hall. The bell rang shrilly and everything became quiet.

Thankful for the peace, she studied the signs above each door. She eventually found it at the end of the hall, by then a minute and a half late for class.

She turned the doorknob slowly and peeked into the room. She had interrupted the rhyming off of the attendance list, and all eyes travelled towards the distraction at the door. "Excuse me. Is this room 108?"

The teacher looked up from his attendance sheet, realization hitting him. "Come in, come in. You must be Hanajima-san. I got a notice from the office about you. I just need to check your schedule to verify." He smiled warmly.

Saki walked to his desk, ignoring the curious stares she was receiving from her new classmates. _It must be the coat,_ she suddenly understood. _I shouldn't be wearing this, I forgot I had still had it on._ "Here."

He read over the details on the bottom of the paper, and handed it back. "Yeah, this looks right. Why don't you take that seat over in the back?" He pointed towards the back left hand corner. "Oh, by the way, you can't wear that black nail polish here. It's just your first day, so you won't get in trouble or anything. Just for future reference."

_Strike Two._ Saki looked down to her fingers and moved them a little bit. "Sensei, I need them. They show that I have sinned," she stated in her most serious voice. A voice that invoked a bitter combination of pity and fear in her teacher. 

He paused, giving her an odd look, but he didn't want to waste all of the short homeroom session arguing with a new student. "Well, just sit down for now." He resumed calling out the other students names as Saki took her place at the back of the room.

Some of the students seemed to study her as she passed their desks. Others simply paid her no attention, much too busy chatting with their neighbour than to worry about her. There were others who smiled welcomely, and others who sneered in her general direction. She sat without saying a word and removed her coat. She sat and watched how the members of the classroom interacted with each other. The room was filled with such a variety of spiritual waves - some gentle and understanding, coming from the direction of a bubbly brunette; others hiding mysterious concealed secrets, coming from a refined violet eyed boy; and still others who seemed to have a protective nature under a visage of strength, those waves coming from a sturdy blonde who stood by her simple friend; plus everything possible in between. The diversity of energy was wondrous, although some people in the room appeared to have an extra thick superficial layer in their personalities - those waves came from the three girls who had surrounded the mysterious boy. 

_What strange combinations of waves in the atmosphere. Almost smothering, yet not as strong as my old school. Such an enigma._

The following classes went by fairly smoothly. Besides the strange looks she received at times, the morning had gone well. When the lunch bell rang, she wasn't quite sure what to do. The other students had rushed out of the room, obviously headed to the cafeteria or outdoors to eat with their friends. As she watched the mass of bodies wearing identical clothing, she felt suddenly like she was just another person in the school. She slipped her cloak back on; it may not be 'acceptable' but it made her feel safe. Saki stood up and decided to use the time to find her locker.

* * * * *

**In this place, all unconscious could collide.   
  
And still, religion divides.   
  
It's a sad excuse, such abuse, I tell the truth.   
  
All is won, but still nothing seems the same.   
  
It's a mysterious game.   
  
So now on your mark, from the start - let's fall apart.   
  
Have you ever felt this so alone?**

* * * * *

She headed up the stairs, already hearing the sound of ethereal laughter from the floor above. As she turned off of the stairs and into the second floor corridor, she could see that the three frivolous girls from her homeroom were huddled in a group around an older looking girl by the long row of lockers. She could also see the distant outline of two figures walking in their direction. Ignoring them all, Saki searched for the locker number 2015. It happened to be the very same locker that the older student was leaning against.

"Oh, Motoko, that's hilarious! I can't believe that she said that! How dense!" A black haired girl exclaimed as she searched extensively through her purse.

"Yes, it's true, it's Minami! I saw it with my very own eyes. It was almost too much to bear, seeing her with my - er, our - beloved Yuki!" The older girl, who Saki presumed was Motoko, nodded convincingly, her long pigtails bobbing as the girls gathered closer. She noticed a glimmer of gold on each girl's shirt; they were wearing pins with a letter 'Y' with a crown on top. 

"I _can_ believe it! She's such a strange girl, and with that Yankee friend of hers too.... Some people, I tell you. I still don't know how she's gotten so close to Sohma-san lately. I mean, who's closer to him than we are?" With her hands on her hips, the strawberry-blonde girl stated it like a fact. She shook her head to move her long bangs out of her face.

"Obviously that witch Toh-" Motoko said, practically fuming from her ears. She stopped mid-word with her mouth open when she noticed Saki walking towards her. Her footsteps were slow and graceful, but she had a determined air about her. Quickly, Motoko motioned with her hands for the group to stop talking amongst themselves, and then started a new subject. "Wasn't that trigonometry test today so hard?"

"Motoko, you know we aren't in the same grade as you!" A girl with short red hair announced.

"Shut up, Mio!" With a blur of green fleece, the black haired girl wacked her with her frog purse. Under her breath, she muttered, "You are _so_ dense."

"Ow, Mai! What did I do to deserve that?" Mio clutched her left arm in her hand, leaning in to examine it.

"Excuse me," Saki stated in a polite tone. They looked up from their bickering.

"What do you want from us?" Motoko asked impatiently.

"You're blocking the path to my locker," Saki explained. "Let me pass?" 

"Oh no, just a minute. This locker section is for second years, how come I've never met you in any of my classes?" She pointed at herself dramatically, as if she were in charge of locker assignments herself and felt greatly offended that someone would receive a locker without her knowledge. "If you were anyone important, I would have met you before."

_Strike Three. I'm out. Do I really not belong anywhere to the extent that I can't do something as simple as getting a locker without being bothered?_

"This is the locker I've been assigned. I can see that the locker behind you is not in use. It's not even closed properly," she stated, using a calm, eerie tone of voice. "Just a space for my belongings, is this really so difficult for you?" She stared at Motoko while leaning her head to the side slightly as if examining her, and Motoko stared right back at her. The one called Mio tugged on the sleeve of one of her friends, and stepped back slightly. The three girls seemed frightened, and Saki was glad - it would be easiest to stay away from people and stay uninvolved if they were already afraid. There wouldn't be need for them to get hurt.

Although her followers were sending their leader mental messages (Saki could feel the screaming waves directed at Motoko for her to escape right away), she made no movement of backing down. She straightened up, making herself seem taller than before. The glint in her eyes showed fear, but she wouldn't step down so easily. A petty fight it was, over something as silly as a locker, but Motoko always felt that she had to show that she had some sort of power over other people. It was matter of defending her principles! She did want to impress her three main disciples.

"Not really difficult," Motoko turned, placing her hand on her chin as if she were thinking. "But I don't think that this is what this is really about, is it? Isn't there something more to it than that?"

**Author Notes:** Chapter 1; Completed July 5th 2003, Revised and Uploaded August 1st 2003.   
_Ah, the thrilling conclusion of chapter one. O_O;; Exciting, no? *coughs* Well, I tried to have a cliff hanger, at least. Even if it's just a confrontation for a locker, lol. Sigh.   
A good thing: Tokyopop is releasing the manga to North America! I'm so excited; I'm going to make sure to buy as much of it as I can, hehe. Reading online scanlations is alright, but it's just not the same as holding a book in your hands. *feels giddy thinking about it*   
This story does not fit quite within the time line of the anime / manga series since it is an Alternate Universe tale! Some aspects of their lives have been changed for the sake of the story, but the members of the Juunishi will remain under the curse in this story (you know, people turning into cute, fuzzy animals will be just too cute to resist later in the story!). Although it was inspired by the manga, the story is easily understood even if you've only seen the anime episodes. I mean, I've only read a tiny bit of the manga myself (a bit of vol. 5, vol. 7, and chapters here and there), so you should be fine. ^_~_   
* * * * * Altered Excerpts from "Interzone" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. of Hana to Yume Comics 


	2. Where Are My Angels?

Punishment   
Chapter 2: Where Are My Angels?

"I think that you've just overheard something that you didn't like, hm? Us talking about some little girls in your grade. You must be friends with them, accomplices in their wicked games, and want to avenge their honour!" Motoko laughed maniacally, in a way that only she could pull off without looking completely insane. "How rich."

"Motoko, she only arrived at our school today, I doubt that she's friends with those two already," a loud but scared whisper came from the group.

"I think she's getting angry over nothing - ah!" A second higher whisper added, but was silenced once again by the soft sound of purse hitting flesh. She hissed, " Again? Hey, come on now, no need for that!"

Motoko continued, talking over the others as if they hadn't said a word. "You must be one of them, just another witch who's going to take Yuki-kun away from us!"

_Witch._ It stung more than any combination of words that Motoko could have strung together ever could. Saki still had no idea what the girl was talking about, but enough evidence had been gathered from the short dispute to prove that she was hated by Motoko before she could even do anything to deserve it. She thought back to the stories told at Halloween. A witch, a terrible creature of the night who performed rituals to unite herself with Satan. So horribly different that they were not accepted into society and were burned at the stake. The engulfing flames would take away their lives, for it was said that they did not belong with pure blooded humans. Not accepted in the least, and no one ever felt pity for them as they were slaughtered. They were only alive to be tormented.

* * * * *

**Another hard day running from all those vampires.   
  
All of the sycophants are caught on a high wire.   
  
All my life's been filled with wanton tragedies.   
  
Where's my angel, my naked soul?**

* * * * *

Saki was at a loss for words, but her confusion did not show on her features. She simply stood and said nothing, waiting for it all to be over.

"Are you even listening to me? What have you got to say for yourself?" Motoko screeched at her, causing Saki to flinch slightly. Even with all the practice she had at remaining expressionless throughout anything, she couldn't help herself. 

_ Why does it hurt so much, even without too many brutal words? I've been through so much worse than this, so this shouldn't matter. _"You are not worth it." She didn't mean to say it out loud, but the words left her mouth. Powerful waves surrounded her on all sides, coming from the reverberant girl. Before she knew what was happening, Saki felt a sharp pain against her cheek and stumbled backwards a few steps. Raising her hand to touch it, she realized what had happened. Unreal, a slap in the face, one too fast to evade.

Two sets of footsteps ran from down the hallway, bursting between the group of girls. "Hey, what are you doing?" A low but feminine voice yelled. Its owner pulled Motoko away from Saki, holding her by her wrists.

"Let go of me." Motoko warned, narrowing her eyes.

"Leave that girl alone, alright? Or something worse will happen to you." The tall blonde grinned as she dealt her warning, then released her. Motoko stepped back a few steps, rejoining her cluster of friends - safety in numbers, after all.

She sighed and flipped her hair over her shoulders. "Whatever. Let's go eat lunch now, okay?" She started walking off, and her friends immediately followed, looking back to watch how the prey would react. Under her breath, Motoko swore that it wasn't over yet. It was barely audible, but she added, "We shall prevail."

That girl who had helped Saki, she was the same one who she noticed in homeroom, the one with the protective waves. Those same waves seemed even stronger now, and they overtook her senses. She felt comforted by the fact that someone would go out of their way to defend her.

While threats had been mustered, Saki found herself being comforted by another girl who had accompanied the protective one. With worry written all over her face, a smaller girl with shining, green eyes and long, brown hair ran over to her. "Are you okay? You aren't hurt, are you?" She studied the red area where she had been hit, placing a hand on Saki's shoulder. There was no fear, just selfless concern. Saki felt surprised.

"Ah," Saki shook her head. "I'll be fine. This isn't the worst I've ever received."

"We should take you to the nurse to be treated, we don't want it to get worse!" The girl frowned in thought. "I'll come with you to make sure you get there."

"No really, it's okay." Saki found herself smiling, hoping that the sadness of that unknown girl would subside. "She didn't really hit me that hard." A nurse wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway.

"I insist -" The brunette stopped talking when the blonde returned.

"Hey, Tohru, give her some room to breathe, 'kay?"

"Ah, Uo-chan!" Tohru stepped back, and then bowed to Saki. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Honda Tohru. And this is -"

"Uotani Arisa." Arisa grinned as she finished the sentence quickly. "You're Hanajima Saki, right? I remember you from homeroom. I guess that you weren't really warmly welcomed, ne?"

"Yes, but I suppose that's just the way that things have to be." Saki saw that those girls were completely out of sight, and relief ran through her. "Thank you both for helping me." She bowed, and excused herself from their company.

No matter how glad that she was that someone had protected her, no matter how glad she was that someone had worried about her health, and no matter how much she wanted to simply talk to them and learn about these two kind people, she couldn't allow herself. Tohru and Arisa watched as she opened her assigned locker, and pulled out about four crumpled balls of paper that had been left behind by its previous occupier. Concentrating on a nearby garbage can, she tossed them in one at a time, but missed the final two. They both fell to the ground pathetically after losing momentum.

Tohru walked up and placed them in the can, then continued towards Saki's locker. Arisa joined her, and the two girls stood behind her. Tohru smiled her silly little smile, and Arisa thought over the events that had occurred.

"You actually think this is the way that it has to be? If you don't like the way things are, you've just got to work to change it." Arisa nodded. "Take it from me, I know."

Saki closed her locker, but didn't lock it right away. She thought about Arisa's words, but then shook her head. "No, this is something I can't control. It's out of my reach, so it'll never change." Memories of the nagging energy waves plagued her mind, but she still felt oddly at peace. It was almost as if there were less obtrusive energies surrounding the three girls, just the calming waves of an ocean.

Tohru could tell that this wasn't something that Saki was going to change her opinion about the matter anytime soon, so she changed the subject to a less serious one. "Do you want to come eat lunch with us? If you feel up to it, that is." She smiled.

She really did want to. So soon after pledging that she wouldn't get close to anyone, she was already tempted to stray from her plan. She couldn't let herself be so vulnerable by staying by their calming waves. "I'm sorry, I can't do it. At least, not today."

"Oh," Tohru couldn't mask the disappointment on her face. "Okay, but if you change your mind, you can find us in the back of the cafeteria. It was nice to have a chance to talk to you!"

* * * * *

**Where's my angel, my naked soul?   
  
Please don't hide from me.**

* * * * *

Saki's first day of school was different to say the least. The attack over something as trivial as her assigned locker didn't really surprise her, but being 'saved' was a shocker. Two kind souls had offered her the essence of friendship, and she was afraid. No one became her friend without having some sort of twisted desire to gain something from her. What could they want from her? She was scared, but at the same to curious to know what it would be like to have real friends like in the novels she read.

She made sure to pack up her books and writing utensils slowly during her last class, mathematics, to give time for Motoko to finish her business at her locker. She wasn't too eager to run into her again so soon. Most of the students rushed out of the classroom at the sound of the bell, ignoring the last minute shouts of the teacher dictating their homework for the night. Individually placing her pencils and erasers inside a small case, she zipped them up. When she was done, she looked up to see Tohru who already had her books stacked neatly in her arms.

"Hello, Hanajima-san," she greeted. She had noticed how ridiculously slow that she was packing up, so she decided to come at see how Saki was feeling. She was still worried about her from earlier, and was making a point of trying to help as much as she could. "I don't think you have anything to worry about. Those girls from earlier won't be out by your locker because they're members of the 'We Love Yuki' club, and they meet every Monday in one of the classrooms." She smiled at Saki, completely understanding what it was like being pestered by those girls. "Are you okay now?"

"Ah, yes, I'm feeling much better. Thank you." There was still that curiosity about her kindness that made her wonder if would really be okay to become friends with her. Perhaps she would agree to join them for lunch next day after all.

"I'm sorry, I've really got to run. I've got somewhere I need to be, or I would have asked you to walk with me."

"Oh, are you a member of that club?" Saki asked, remembering that Motoko was angry that a girl named Tohru was getting closer to the one they called Yuki. The name Tohru wasn't all that common, so she had made the assumption that both the Tohru she had heard about and the Tohru standing in front of her were one and the same.

"The 'We Love Yuki' club? Me?" Tohru squeaked out, a blush visible on her cheeks. "No, I'm not a member. I just have a part time job that starts in about fifteen minutes. Which means I've really got to go. See you tomorrow in homeroom!" She waved and escaped the room quickly before anything else could be asked.

Saki looked around the room; even the teacher had already left. She picked up her things, headed up to her locker, then left school, heading for home. Even though she knew she had nothing to fear because of Tohru's information, she still moseyed on her way home. She didn't particularly feel like returning home to detailed questions from her mother about how her day was, but she knew she'd have to face the music eventually.

After the somewhat long walk, she opened the door to her house to find it already unlocked. The house was extremely quiet, more than usual. Her siblings were usually home before her. She headed upstairs to her room. She entered the room to find someone sitting at her desk, a small boy with short, pitch black hair facing the opposite wall. He swivelled in his chair, slowly for effect, spinning around to face her while stroking a pure white cat in his arms.

"Megumi, you startled me," Saki said as she sat on the edge of her bed and dropped her backpack to the floor.

He grinned at her. "I've been waiting since I came home from school for you to come in. I borrowed the neighbour's cat so that I could do that stunt - actually, I'm surprised they let me borrow her. They must have thought that I was going to put a cruel curse on them if they didn't let me." He set the fluffy cat on the floor, and she bolted for the open closet door where a cat carrier had been set. Saki's large walk-in closet was actually Megumi's room; their house was rather small for the five children and their parents, so that was where he lived. There was enough room in there for a futon and a small end table, and Megumi was happy enough with that. He wasn't the sort of person who was impressed by material goods. They had electricity wired into the room so that he could have light, since there were no windows in a closet. Instead of the closet, Saki stored her clothes in a large dresser which the brother and sister shared.

They shared more than just a dresser, they also shared similar hardships. Yes, her brother Megumi was like her. While she was vexed by the constant bantering of spiritual energy, he had a different sort of supernatural power. If he concentrated on a person's name, he could curse them. They were both feared because they were so different. Megumi wouldn't curse people, that is unless he had a good reason to do so. But still, his reputation of hurting the people who bullied him caused everyone to leave him alone. Saki just didn't have the heart to strike back against her predators - she always thought that she was the one at fault, so she couldn't possibly fight back.

"I have something for you," he told her, his goofy smile gone. He handed her a hard covered book that looked pretty old. The binding was worn and the edges of the cover were abused from use. Saki's eyes widened at the word written across in bold characters on the outside of the book: Curses. 

"Where did you...?"

"Grandma actually found it in her house, and she thought you'd find it interesting." He swirled in his chair slowly as he spoke. "Since you're having trouble accepting _it_."

"Accepting what?" Saki asked slowly. 

"Your powers," he answered, as if the answer was obvious. "I know that there's nothing I can do about the fact that I can hurt people if I'm not thinking straight, and I've accepted that. It helps me have control over what I do and do not want to do to the people. I have the choice; I've been perfecting my rituals over the years."

"I know that I can hear things that I shouldn't. I know that's how it is!"

"But have you accepted that?" His voice was completely serious as he stopped spinning to stare straight at her.

"Yes, I have," she said, slightly shaking as she lied to herself. "But I'm not like you, I don't hurt people like you do." _But you can if you wanted to. You've done it before, that boy you attacked you is living proof. If you wanted to, you could hurt anyone who has ever hurt you in the least. You know you want to._ She fell back on her bed, covering her ears with her hands. "I don't want to!" she screamed out at the voices that surrounded her.

"Saki!" Megumi stood up and ran to her side. "What is it?"

"I...don't...want...to accept this. This part of me is horrible." She closed her eyes tightly. "I'm a horrible person."

"Embrace your powers, Saki. It doesn't have to be like this." He stared at her as she wept silently.

"You can't hear it, can you? You don't know what it's like, Megumi!"

"If you accept this aspect of yourself instead of bottling everything away, you'll be in control. You can stop whatever waves you don't want to listen to. These bad signals, push them out of your life. You don't have to listen to them if you're in charge of yourself."

She sat up, and opened her eyes to look at her younger brother. He was three years younger than herself, but he understood himself more than she did. He was wise beyond his years for certain. Was this because he had accepted his curse?

"Read that book. It'll help you." 

"Megumi, I just want the voices to stop all together. What use can they be? I almost wish I could give up my soul. If I had no soul, I wouldn't be able to interpret what the waves try to tell me. I want to be at peace. I don't want this part of me to exist."

"But you need to understand, this is a part of you that you need to accept. If you don't accept it, you'll become nothing. Aren't there good waves out there that you want to experience?" His words made her mind flash to her protectors at lunch. Their waves were so calming and made her desire their friendship. "You'd lose that too, I'm sure that waves are important to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to return the cat." He gave her a feather light pat on her head, then left with the caged cat.

_ You'll become nothing. It's important to you. It'll help you. Embrace your powers, Saki._

"I can't do it," Saki told the empty room. "I don't quite understand yet."

* * * * *

**You're like a runaway with no escape zone.   
  
For your sake, we'll try to face this.   
  
Please don't hide from us.   
  
Don't you hide from us, please don't.   
  
Where is our angel?**

* * * * *

"Really?" Tohru exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. It was a few minutes before homeroom, and Saki had told her that she would eat lunch with them after all. "I'm so happy!"

"Glad to see that you've finally come around," Arisa said as she sat down on top of the desk behind Tohru's. "We'll meet you at your locker then."

So that was how Saki found herself walking through the middle of the school cafeteria with a loaded lunch tray, following her two new friends to an empty table at the back of the cafeteria. The cafeteria was noisy with excited teenagers talking about everything imaginable. Saki felt overwhelmed by the amount of energy in one room - her last school had been much smaller, and she had always chosen to eat outside away from the student population. She could hear not only their speech, but also the cacophony of the spiritual waves they broadcasted.

She sat with the two, and they ate their lunches fairly quietly. After a few minutes of silence, Arisa spoke up.

"Oh man, I've got a huge biology test coming up next week. I'm doomed since I skipped too much of that class and I really don't know what they're talking about anymore. My teacher seems to have a thing against me, I don't get it."

"Have you talked about it with him? Maybe he doesn't realize that he's being rude to you." Tohru suggested.

"Well, sort of. I asked him what I missed while I was away, and he said that I should have done something about it earlier because we've gone onto new topics already. I'll bet if I were someone with higher marks, he would have given me the notes. He's such a jerk."

"I have biology the same period as you do, just with a different teacher. The content's basically the same, so you can study off mine on Sunday if you want."

"Great, that'll be perfect!" Arisa gave a thumbs up sign and Tohru smiled.

"Mom always says that it's almost like your duty to help someone when no one else can," Tohru said, thinking of her kind mother.

Their conversations drifted from subject to subject, constantly settling on one particular person whom both girls seemed to admire greatly. Tohru referred to her as her mother and Arisa called her Kyoko. Both seemed to be in awe of her, almost as if she were a great legend. Tohru seemed happiest when speaking about her.

Saki had remained silent throughout their conversations. She really wasn't sure she could input into their discussions. She felt so different from them - almost alienated. She pushed a final potato chip into her mouth, and then stood up. "I had better go - I should study for my next class. Goodbye to you both. Tohru, I'll see you in math class."

Both sets of eyes travelled up to Saki's dark ones. Tohru immediately rose. "Is something wrong, Hanajima-san?" Arisa remained in her place, but looked between the two standing girls.

Saki wondered when she had become so easy to read - maybe she really wasn't as expressionless as she thought she was all those years. Maybe it was just that no one had ever commented on her expressions before. These two were so different from anyone else she had ever met. She didn't belong with them, they were too above her. "I'm sorry, Honda-san, Uotani-san. I can't stay here with you two." She backed up a few steps, then fled the cafeteria, weaving between the occupied tables and chairs.

"Did we do something to offend her?" Tohru asked, worried.

"I don't know," Arisa looked after her fleeing image. She had already walked out the "I think we'd better go check on her."

* * * * *

**Please don't hide from me.   
  
Where is my angel?**

* * * * *

Saki slid a small piece of metal into a slot. The door of the bathroom stall was now locked, and she was completely alone. It felt so safe to be contained in that little area. Tohru and Arisa both seemed so much more knowledgable about everything in the world - they had a great influence in their life that helped them through their tough times. She didn't have anyone's footsteps to follow, and it hurt. She should have been happy for them, but she couldn't help feeling the pangs of petty jealously. She thought that she was supposed to be at peace, but coming to terms with her powers meant putting herself out there in the real world, unprotected from human nature.

She heard the main door of the bathroom swing open, and cautious footsteps entering.

"Hanajima?" She recognized the speaker as Arisa. "You in here?"

She watched two sets of feet pass by her stall.

"Hanajima-san, are you alright?" Tohru asked. Saki could see she had stopped moving by the feet on the other side of the door.

Saki shuffled her feet against the floor, she was still confused. "Why did you come here?"

Tohru sounded more confused. "Why? To find you, of course."

"No, but why? .... I don't understand this. No one has ever come to find me before like this. Everyone's always afraid. .... I can't understand why you two are so different that you'd come. There are things that you two don't know about my past."

Tohru's voice became softer. "Hana-san, even if we don't know you very well yet, you seem like you have a kind person beneath your skin. Everyone always deserves chances to prove themselves in life."

"Yeah," Arisa automatically agreed. "I've had some 'interesting' things happen in my life that I'm sure most people wouldn't approve of, and I know Tohru has some decent dirt in her background too. We understand that and wouldn't want to judge you by your past."

"We'd really like it if we could become friends. We can help you out, and we want to accept you."

There was a sound of tight metal pieces scraping against each other - the door had been unlocked, and Saki walked outside. She bowed, and said, "Thank you." Her long hair hung in front of her face as she did so, hiding the small tear rolling down her cheek and the small yet beautiful smile forming on her lips.

**Author Notes:** Chapter 2; Completed July 8th 2003, Revised and Uploaded August 5th 2003.   
_Whoa, that was one long chapter. (Well, for me at least X.X) Yes, Kyoko was being talked about in the present tense. What does this mean? She's alive right now! Hoorah. Saki won't be teary forever, she's just working through some tough times, ne? This fic is so depressing in a lighthearted acceptance kind of way, sigh._   
* * * * * * * * * * Altered Excerpts from "Angel" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics


	3. Caught In The Chaos

Punishment   
**Chapter 3: Caught in the Chaos**

The afternoon seemed a lot easier now that Saki knew that there were truly people who cared about her. She could feel warmness spreading through her body, and the waves she could hear crackling in the room seemed to be less potent than usual. Her concentration was focused on the problems scrawled on the chalkboard in the math classroom. Saki enjoyed the class, even if she always 'forgot' to do her homework. (She always wondered what the point of homework was. If you passed the remake exams, then you automatically passed. It didn't make sense to work so hard.) Math was so predictable since emotional variables never affected the results. Quadratic equations just made so much sense. 

Not only was math easy (at least once she learned and memorized all of those blasted formulas), but she was seated in front of Tohru because their surnames. She thanked her lucky stars for the alphabetical seating plan. She also felt lucky that they were not seated near Yamagishi Mio, one of those obnoxious fan club members who was also in their class.

The class was nearly boring and regular, but it was interrupted by that particular girl's jealousy of Tohru. Near the end of the period, they were given some free time to complete homework while the teacher marked a pop quiz. Tohru took the moment to give something to the charismatic Yuki. She quickly walked past three rows of desks to the 'S' section of the class. She handed him two simple envelopes. "Sohma-kun, could you take this home with you today? It's from my mom. You know, for Shigure-san." She lowered her voice when she realized how loud she was speaking. "And one from me to you."

Yuki took them from her and placed it in the breast pocket of his uniform. "Sure, Honda-san," he said as he gave her a small secretive smile.

"I can't believe it, she'll even talk to him during class!" Mio grumbled from the 'Y' section at the far left of the room to a fellow club member. Even from that distance, she could clearly see gorgeous smile he made exclusively for Tohru. "She talks to him so casually, she should call him Sohma-san." She would have to report this 'faux pas' to Motoko. She was in charge of enforcing the rules set by the fan club members; everyone, member or not, had to address Yuki in a particular way. Mio hated Tohru at that moment with all of her being, and she wasn't going to allow her any more time alone with him.

Saki turned to glare at the girl, but Mio took no notice even her. She had already pulled a piece of loose leaf out of her notebook, scribbled a swift message and crumpled it into a ball. With an exaggerated pitcher's arm, Mio wound up and threw the ball across the room towards the unsuspecting Tohru.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." Tohru smiled, and bowed to prove her thanks. The crushed paper ball whirled over her back, straight into Yuki. Tohru returned to her upright position to see Yuki with his hands clasped around the paper sphere right in front of his face. "Sohma-kun, where'd you get that?"

"It just flew towards me," Yuki replied, bewildered as he pulled the ball apart into the form of a wrinkled sheet. Written on the centre of the page in messy cursive were the words, 'You don't deserve Yuki.' He immediately crushed the ball in his fist before Tohru could read it and peered around the room. "Oh well, this isn't at all important." Tohru said something quietly, and Yuki replied, "You worry too much, Honda-san." Again, that same mysterious, clandestine smile graced his features.

In her desk across the room, Mio put her head down on her desk. "Oh my God, I just hit the Prince with a paper ball!" she whispered loudly to her friend. Her unevenly cut hair was swept into a dishevelled fashion as she shook her head madly, red hair hiding her face. "I'm going to die," she muttered, the visible parts of her ears turning bright red. Several people snickered from the back of the room as another fan club member threw her own paper ball towards Mio as a penalty for hitting their treasured Yuki.

The absentminded teacher still sat at the front of the room with a red pen in his hand, absolutely unaware of the small-scale war taking place in front of him. Tohru scurried back to her seat to get back to work, and the class eventually settled down. Ah, the nefarious jealousies of these fan club floosies were ridiculous. Saki found it ironic that Motoko had said earlier that she must have been trying to redeem Tohru's honour even though she did not even know Tohru yet. And after all that, those angry words became the truth as Saki had glared at Mio and her actions.

With another day of school out of the way, Saki and Arisa agreed to walk part of the way home together. Tohru, with her job, regrettably couldn't come but she promised to walk with them later in the week when she would have a day off work.

"I'm sorry for this lunch hour. I don't know what has gotten into me lately, but thank you once again, Uotani-san." The weather was a little chilly so Saki drew her cloak closer to her body. The sky was lined with looming grey clouds. They looked like they might have burst open with rain at any second, but the rain stayed safely inside their billowy containers.

"Hey, you don't have to be so formal," Arisa laughed as she tied her dyed hair into a loose ponytail. It was getting in her way because of the wind which was picking up. "Arisa's fine. It makes me feel a little awkward when people use honorifics with me. Tohru still can't get out of the habit; she's called me Uo-chan for a long time. And it still took me a while to convince her not to use -san. I feel bad for it now, at first, I yelled at her for talking to me so casually; after that, she was always extra polite with me, even though it's really unneeded."

"Ah, Arisa then." Saki nodded in understanding. "You and Honda-san seem really close now."

"Yeah, we didn't use to be though. When I first met her I kind of treated her like 'just another person' because I didn't know her at all. I thought she was just like all the other girls who only seem to think about makeup and boys all the time. You may think less of me for this, but I used to be involved in a local gang. One of the senior members was Kyoko. She was a real legend and everything. I couldn't believe it when she had left the gang to settle down with her daughter. She wanted to make a living for herself and Tohru; a true, honest living. I hated it, that Kyoko would back out of her gang oaths for family life. Once I met Tohru, I learned that she was totally different than the confident Red Butterfly that I admired. I was disapointed, and I hated her." Arisa looked sad at her thoughts.

"Then, how did you end up getting to know her better?"

"I started to get in trouble with some other people in the gang. I didn't want to go through with some things that they wanted. I was trying to hide, and I ran into Tohru by chance. She helped me escape, and welcomed me to my house to hide. It was a comforting thought, having her help someone like me. I started spending time with her and Kyoko, and it was great. I returned to school full time to be with Tohru more. Kyoko had gotten out of the gang; she had been influenced by a man she knew to get out of the gang, and out of their affairs forever."

"So everything worked out for the best for you two," Saki sighed, it was a beautiful story.

Arisa grimaced, "Not exactly that well at that time. I was still in the gang, and I guess it's general knowledge that I was a bad influence for Tohru, even though I was trying to set things right. Everyone was scared that I would hurt Tohru because of my reputation. I guess I tainted Tohru's status too; people thought if she were hanging out with the likes of me, she must have been horrible too. I wanted to change myself to become the sort of person that could be Tohru's real best friend, one who wouldn't shame her. I thought it would be best if I got out of the gang, but when you get involved in one, it's a life time deal, you can't just duck out whenever you want unless you are a special case. I told them my plans, and was nearly 'immobilized' forever for it. I wanted out of the gang life permanently, but I knew too much about some of their activities. I was attacked with no one on my side, and there was nothing I could do but wait for their attacks to stop."

Arisa frowned and stopped talking for a few minutes, remembering the agony. Saki nodded to give her support; she knew very well about waiting for it all to be over. "Before I passed out, Kyoko stopped them from hurting me worse than they already had. She was the legendary Kyoko, so her word was a lot stronger than mine ever could be. She took me home to Tohru to get me fixed up. I was only okay thanks to the two of them. It makes me glad that I've become someone who can be Tohru's friend, but it makes me feel even better than she had accepted me even before I became that person.

Saki smiled at her, and nodded her head again. It was the same way with her. Tohru was such a welcoming person. "That's a bittersweet story, but it all ended well."

"I thought so too." Arisa grinned. "You know, you really should meet Kyoko. I think that you could use some of her words of wisdom," Arisa said wisely.

They walked the rest of the way home in comfortable silence, each girl lost in her own thoughts. Saki's thoughts barely registered the electric waves swirling around in the wind. It was sensational.

* * * * *

**You're caught in the chaos, sustained by its reprise.   
  
Fuelling the addiction, suckling its disease.**

* * * * *

From then on, the three girls became an inseparable trio. As time passed, they came to learn a great deal about each other: their strengths, their flaws and their beliefs. But even still, each girl seemed to carry something that was kept from the others, a grand secret. 

They experienced times of happiness, times of quarrels, and even brief times of uneasiness. After these experiences they only grew closer. Saki did indeed get to meet the legendary Kyoko, the Red Butterfly as Arisa had once called her. She was just as kind and wonderful as Tohru and Arisa had described, and Saki would never have known that she used to be a gang member if she hadn't been told earlier that it was so. She seemed like such a motherly figure; not at all like those characters from gang movies and books. 

At that little gathering at Tohru's house, Kyoko, Tohru, Arisa, and Saki knelt around a square table in the kitchen. Kyoko passed out miniature champagne glasses and plates of triangular cheese sandwiches. Two platters of different kinds of crackers had been set in the middle of the table, one platter on either side of a vase of white lilies. The centrepiece was surrounded by several types of bakery goods.

"What's the champagne for, Mom?" Tohru asked she poured from a bottle into each of the glasses.

"Well, I have a reason for us to celebrate. Let's get the table set first." She took a small bite out of her sandwich. "This has been a great day for me. Not only do I get to meet Hana-chan after hearing so much about her, but I've also earned myself a new higher paying job!"

"Congrats!" Arisa shouted, raising her glass as the others clinked theirs against hers.

"I can't believe it," Tohru said happily, rising to give her mother a loving hug. "That's so great! I'm proud of you."

"Yeah, and I lucked into the position. I've been talking to the writer Shigure Sohma about a book that he wrote about gang life and gave him some advice about it to make it more realistic."

"Shigure Sohma...." Saki remembered the name. "I own several romance novels by him. Excellent characterization and interaction." Although some scenes were a little graphic for her tastes, she had enjoyed them.

"You know of him? I wasn't sure how popular of a writer he was." Kyoko grinned. "Several years ago, I read a book called 'Hidden Smile,' and it was about this girl Mika, a daughter of two gang members. Her mother and father were both very involved in the gang, and pretty much left Mika to fend for herself in life. After her father was killed in a fight, her mother tried to get out of the gang without success in order to raise Mika properly. Mika ended up getting into a lot of trouble because of her innocent nature. Even after the worst of the worst happened to her, she could still smile because of the love she had for her mother. It was a good book and was interesting to read, but it wasn't a realistic depiction of gang life. I contacted him after I read it and he agreed to meet me to go over some details. That was a long time ago when I helped him out with the book's second edition. Even after its completion, we met for dinner and other outings totally unrelated to business. We've been talking a lot lately over dinners and lunches, and he spontaneously asked me if I would be his researcher and motivator. He going to pay a better rate than what I'm getting at the grocery store, so I'm all for it."

"A researcher, that sounds like it's going to be a lot more interesting than be being a grocer," Arisa commented. "And a motivator, you said? I wonder how he expects you to do that."

"With the sort of books he writes, who can say..." Saki trailed off and smiled, pretending that she hadn't said a thing. "Congratulations, Kyoko-san."

"Thanks you guys! I'm really excited about it." She took another bite of her sandwich, and the conversation turned to their school life. Kyoko seemed like a teenager with the way that she acted. It was like she was just one of the group, and it was wonderful. She was as remarkable as she had been described as.

"Though with the way you're describing it, it sounds like he's more of a boyfriend than a boss," Arisa teased her idol.

Kyoko laughed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Maybe, who knows. He did change my life for the better." _Had Shigure been the one who had influenced her to leave the gang forever?_ Saki couldn't help but wonder. "Though no matter what our status is, I'm still six years older than he is! I feel so old now."

"Aha, going for a younger man!" Arisa chuckled, giving Kyoko a playful shove. "But hey, you look really youthful so maybe he has no idea about the age difference."

"Shigure-san is very nice, I'm sure that he'd be happy with you as his girlfriend." Tohru said with a silly looking smile on her face. She told them that she had been introduced to him and his younger cousin by her mother. Arisa somehow managed to convince her to tell them what Shigure looked like. "Quite handsome," she eventually admitted.

As they neared the end of their celebration dinner, Tohru excused herself to go to the washroom. While Tohru was out of the room, Kyoko talked very seriously with the two remaining girls.

"I was hoping I would get a chance to talk to you both alone. I'm going to be getting some long hours with this position, and I'm not going to home as much as I used to be with Tohru. I wanted to know if you'd both check in on her via the phone sometimes, you know, to make sure that she isn't in any trouble. I worry about her a lot when I'm not around to defend her."

Arisa nodded gravely, grasping the concept. She worried about Tohru a lot too, especially with the long hours she put in at her job. She was surely earning her college education that way, but it left her walking home alone late every night. Saki could tell that Arisa got her protective nature from Kyoko; they seemed very alike. She also felt honoured that she was being considered to be in the same league as Arisa. She was being asked to be a protector of Tohru, and she was proud to agree.

"Here, for you both." Kyoko pulled two equally beautiful lilies, the colour of pearls, out of the table's vase. With a smile on her face, she placed each delicate flower in their hands. "Thanks, it really means a lot to me."

* * * * *

**It has dragged you down, please don't turn around!   
  
You're broken and battered, you've tried with all your means.**

* * * * *

School became a never ending pattern of rotating classes; the day would start with homeroom, change to Japanese Language, then shift to History. The lunch bell would ring, and Saki would search on the first floor for Arisa and Tohru, then they'd proceed outdoors or to the cafeteria to eat lunch. After eating, classes would start again; with Biological Studies, then the final Mathematics class. The cycle would occur each day with hardly anything to distinguish one day from another. Months passed and their friendship grew stronger. 

Indistinguishable, that is, until one homeroom that changed their lives eternally.

It was a day like any other, and homeroom started and had been in session for several minutes. The teacher was in front of the class reading out the day's announcements, but his spiel was interrupted by the loud sound of knocking at the door. The principal, dressed in a professional brown suit, didn't wait to be addressed. The atmosphere of the room turned dark as he asked, "Is Honda Tohru-san in the room?"

Tohru immediately stood up and walked up to the door. In a low voice, he whispered something that only she could hear. Her already light face paled further at his words. She stared at him for a moment in disbelief, then fled the room. In all the time that Saki had known her, her waves had never been this distraught. She didn't know exactly what was wrong, but it had to be horrible. She rose from her chair, and Arisa did the same. Saki looked to the teacher, and he gave nodded in consent to their leaving, and they headed to the door to follow Tohru.

At the opposite end of the room, Yuki stood up as if he were going to go after her too, but then he sat down in his seat once more. Saki's watchful eyes caught this movement before she disappeared out the door. She couldn't help but wonder if there was more going on between Tohru and Yuki than met the eye. Tohru never really spoke that much about Yuki to them, but once in a while it sounded like she knew him quite well. 

_Is it something so secretive that he had to stop himself from coming along? What a foreign action. Something is definitely astray. This isn't going to be good._

They followed the principal down the hall into his office, and he told her more information about the situation. Tohru's mother had been in a car accident and was in critical condition at the hospital. Tohru was permitted to go to the hospital, and he offered to drive her there. He turned to Saki and Arisa, and said, "You two had better run along now, there's nothing you can do here." 

Saki looked to Tohru who had tears in her eyes. No, she couldn't possibly leave her alone. "No, sir. There is something we can do. We need to be there for Tohru." She was determined.

Arisa couldn't do that either. "Yeah, we promised her mother that we'd always be there for her no matter what. We can't break it, not now when she needs us the most." 

Teary eyed Tohru smiled weakly at their kind words. "Thank you," she whispered.

He caved in and ended up driving all three girls to the hospital. He dropped them off in front of the large rectangular building and they entered through the automatic doors.

The hospital was a hectic place, with doctors coming and going every which way. At the main reception desk, Tohru tried to give her information, but her words were cut off by teary hiccups. Arisa asked where they could find Honda Kyoko, and they were given the directions to the fourth floor.

"At this point in time, only those related to Honda Kyoko-san may visit," a stern old woman in a nurse's uniform told them.

Tohru looked back to Arisa and Saki and nodded. _I can do this_, she told herself.

"Go on, Tohru," Arisa told her as she wrapped her in a tight hug. "We'll stay in the waiting room. Kyoko's the strongest person I know, she'll be okay."

Once Tohru was released, Saki followed suit. She wasn't the type of person who gave hugs regularly, but she thought that Tohru needed it to be strong herself. The dense air around her was full of conflicting electric waves. The waves told her that she shouldn't try to comfort Tohru; Tohru would be better off if she didn't, they said. "It will be alright, Tohru-kun," Saki tried to say, but her voice sounded garbled. She went against the will of the waves, doing what her mind thought was best to help Tohru.

Even with her broken down voice, Tohru was able to understand Saki's words. She gave them an apprehensive smile and convinced herself to go inside the room. The door closed behind her. Saki and Arisa took the nearest seats in silence and watched the hallway for Tohru's reappearance.

**Author Notes:** Chapter 3; Completed July 12th 2003, Revised and Uploaded August 11th 2003.   
_I hope that you guys do not find that the story is going at too fast of a pace. I realize that I'm being pretty long winded. It's only three chapters and it's already longer than my other fics. I can't help it, the words are flowing and I can't just stop them. It would be unconstitutional, I tell you! XD_   
* * * * * Altered Excerpts from "Master & The Margarita" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics


	4. Prayers

Punishment   
**Chapter 4: Prayers**

For several days, Tohru missed school to spend as much time as she possibly could with her mother. It wasn't expected for her to live much longer. Tohru was extremely upset, but she still tried to smile at her two best friends. They could see though her smile easily - she was distressed. There were complications in Kyoko's heart, and there was nothing could be done but wait to see if she could hold on until a specialist could be flown in. Tohru would sit at her mother's bedside until a doctor or nurse would come in and tell her visiting hours were over. She sat and prayed for her mother to be all right.

* * * * *

**All you needed was a little invitation.   
  
You said yourself, you'd make a dedication.   
  
You said yourself, you'd sell your soul.   
  
But it will drag you down.**

* * * * *

Saki was lying in her room reading the book on curses, which was as interesting as Megumi has said it was. Even though it was rivetting, she found herself becoming distracted; missing words and skipping lines as she read. She couldn't keep herself from imagining Tohru alone with Kyoko in the small monochromatic hospital room. She was interrupted by the piercing ring of the downstairs telephone. She was the only one in the house that Sunday morning (she presumed her family was out playing in the backyard as they so often did) so she ran down the stairs two steps at a time and caught the phone on its fourth ring.

"Hello, Hanajima Saki speaking," she spoke into the phone.

"Saki, Tohru's prayers weren't answered." It was Arisa, but her voice was void of its usual liveliness.

Silence, and then, "What?"

"Kyoko has passed away, Saki." The words echoed in her mind and covered the words that followed. She couldn't even think. "Saki? Are you there? You okay?"

"...Yes. I think so." It was shocking, it couldn't have been reality. But it was. No dream could be that lifelike.

"I'm going to go visit Tohru-kun, she's going to need us. She's still at the hospital, and asked me to tell you. Are you going to come too?"

Tohru needed her. "Yes, I'll come there later on today. I have to go to the shrine this morning - it is Sunday."

"I understand," Arisa said on the other line of the phone. "I'm walking there right now. If we aren't there, we'll be back at Tohru's house. She shouldn't be alone in their apartment right now."

After ending the conversation, Saki sunk into a leather chair. She couldn't believe that such a strong woman like Kyoko couldn't hold on any longer. It seemed so illusory, but suddenly something hit her - those waves she received before she had comforted Tohru had warned her. They told her she shouldn't comfort Tohru, that she would have been better off if she hadn't have comforted her at all. Being comforted kept her from doing what she was supposed to do. She should have stopped herself and Arisa from doing so, but she let it go on in front of her face even after the warnings.

_It's all our fault, and I am responsible._ She could only blame herself.

The backdoor squeaked opened and her mother and three sisters flooded into the room. "Saki, Megumi! Time for church!" her mother called. Megumi must have somewhere inside after all. He appeared from upstairs and headed for the front hall. Her family scattered to their rooms to put on their shrine clothes. 

Saki headed back to her room and found the clothes she usually wore to the shrine. The clothes were fairly simple, a black high cut blouse with white ribbons on each sleeve and a sombre grey skirt that flowed to her knees. The white ribbons were her mother's only request for when they went to the shrine, otherwise she allowed Saki to express herself in anyway she pleased. She slipped into the preselected clothes and looked at herself in the mirror. She noticed that her fingernails were natural; since she had become friends with Tohru and Arisa, she hadn't felt the need to scare away other people. They seemed to frighten people even without it, so she hadn't bothered. But that day, with her torn conscience, she pulled out the black bottle. With even strokes, her nails were once again stained and tarnished. 

_Everyone should stay away from my sins._

* * * * * 

**Can't there be some other way? Can't we make you stay?   
  
Don't you feel it, all that love? But down below, it's so unloved.   
  
You can't feel it? Even with all that love, you still won't stay?**

* * * * *

_Saki, Tohru's prayers weren't answered._

She shouldn't be alone in their apartment right now.

Kyoko has passed away, Saki.

Are you there? You okay?

Even the prayers of the kindest, most accepting person she knew were not answered. It wasn't right. It's indecent for that kind of person to have to bear all this suffering alone. Where was the salvation that she had prayed for? She lost everything with the loss of her mother. All for what? Divine justice had not come. The other driver had been the one at fault in the accident, but Kyoko was the one to perish. Every Sunday at the shrine, they were informed that salvation comes for those who do positive deeds. The teachings did not coincide with real life. Was it the truth or was everything taught just a lie? The truth, it had surfaced.

Saki came down the stairs while pulling on her long cloak and saw the figures of her sisters putting on their shoes. Her mother and Megumi were patiently waiting for everyone to finish. Saki slipped on a pair of flat shoes and turned to face her mother.

"Mom, I don't think I can go today. I need to go visit Tohru-kun instead. She needs me right now."

"Saki, you know that religion is important to me and the rest of the family. Couldn't it wait?" her mother asked, one hand falling to her hip in exasperation.

"It can't be helped. I don't want her to be alone for very long. Tohru-kun's mother has passed away, and I need to be there for her."

"You're serious?" her mother asked.

"Very. I wouldn't joke about something like life or death, Mother," Saki made clear.

Her mother opened the door and looked to the sky. The clouds were dark. "Alright, you can go. Please give Tohru my sympathies."

* * * * *

**So now that your faith's gone, who're you going to trust?   
  
Now that your conscience is crawling in the dust?**

* * * * *

Everything was so confusing. Her family had such strong beliefs, but her very own grandmother had given her a book about curses and their forms. Even though she and Megumi had these abnormal abilities, they were both expected to follow the family customs. But her grandmother.... It was all very strange. She wished that could go back and follow the will of the waves, but it was all too late. She had accepted her powers - sort of - and she thought that was enough to have peace, but apparently not. Long ago, she would have sold her soul to escape the torment of these waves, but now she could comprehend. If she ignored the few accepted waves that got through to her, bad things would happen. Perhaps it was meant for her to be able to interpret them to stop these wrong things. If only she had understood sooner for it was too late for certain things to be recovered.

She couldn't possibly face Tohru's grievous image yet. All those guilty waves still surrounded her entire being. No matter how Saki angled herself, she could still hear them clearly. Maybe there was something that had to be done first, she resolved. So she walked in hope that she would receive some sort of inspiration of what that thing might be.

One foot in front of the other, one step at a time, each stride bringing her seemingly farther away from her goal. She walked as far as she possibly could without following any predestined paths. It was a quixotic journey which she really couldn't understand. She followed her instincts, turning at whatever intersections her heart dictated. It started to get windier, but instead of allowing the wind to push her along, she continued to move against it. Ignoring the rational part of her brain, she refused to admit that she might have become lost in a more rural area of town in which she rarely journeyed.

The chill factor of the wind settled in, making it seem colder than it really was. She pulled her bare hands inside the billowing sleeves of her cloak and made a fist, trying to keep in all of the body heat that she could. She sincerely wished that she had worn a floor length skirt; her exposed shins must have had goose bumps by then.

_Why can't I just do things right?_

A lonely bus waiting bench drew her attention, so she filled its vacancy. Fatigue was starting to rear its ugly head, so it was the perfect opportunity to rest. She studied the view, but she could still come to no conclusion of her whereabouts. She would have to spend the entire morning retracing her steps. She stared at the long stretch of grass beyond the road ahead of her, their lengthy blades thrashing against each other in the wild winds. She was only slightly aware of a form taking a seat down on the opposite end of the bench. 

They both sat in silence, staring ahead of them. After a minute of time passing, Saki could no longer resist her curiosity. She looked at the body sitting beside her out of the corner of her eye, turning her body slightly for a better look; he was a tall young man, clad in a fashion that she could appreciate for individuality's sake, at least. He wore a long, white jacket with a collar made of down feathers. Around his neck hung several different chains, each one more different than the previous. He had black leather pants, then finally a cowboy styled boot worn on each foot. But what the most interesting part was his fluttering hair, jet black at the bottom, but topped off with locks of pure white that did not fade to black roots. It strangely looked natural.

She must have examined him too long, for he turned his head to face her. "Interesting?" 

His grey eyes settled on hers. Their depths seemed cloudy, almost indifferent. "Maybe so." She quickly looked away, back to the chaotic swaying grass. Like that boy from school, Yuki, this person emitted those mysterious waves that perplexed her. Having his eyes focused only on hers made her feel nervous - she felt as if her soul was an open book. "Are you just waiting for the bus?"

"Yeah, but it only comes once every two hours on Sunday. I was supposed to get here an hour earlier, but the raging winds steered me off my course." His words sounded a little melodramatic. "It took me a while to find my way back here. The next one won't come for another hour. My cousins won't miss me."

"Ah, I went against the wind, but I still ended up lost."

He nodded knowingly. "It happens to me all the time."

Silence reigned again as Saki looked at the dusky sky, where it seemed like it was going to start raining any moment. Her eyes fell to her hands, and her mother's white ribbons were in her field of vision. They were so pure, contrasting greatly with their bearer. She pulled the bows undone and removed them from the loops at the end of her sleeves. She was free from their confines.

"You don't like ribbons?" he asked, studying her the way she had studied him.

"It's not that I don't like them," said Saki as she tied the pair of ribbons together loosely, "it's just that I'm not too fanatical about white. I don't deserve to wear it." She tied it several times more, tightening them into a tanged knot.

"You have a lot on your mind," he observed. "So you hate white, huh?"

"No, that's not it in the least. White is too good for me. I've thought about things I'm ashamed of, so that white should be grey." She hadn't meant to spill her thoughts out loud so easily, why did those eyes do that to her? "No, I shouldn't bother you with this curse."

_Curse. _He looked up with interest, his cloudy eyes clearing slightly. "Listen, I'm a complete stranger. You've never met me before, and I'll bet that we'll never see each other again. What's the harm in confiding in me?"

"I suppose nothing." _Or everything. _But still, she found herself letting her thoughts leave her body with this nameless stranger. So mysterious, but it felt right to do so. "I just hear things sometimes, in the airwaves that are so terrible and wrong. Sometimes they are so overbearing that I can't think about my actions in the least and someone around me might get hurt because of those angry waves."

He seemed more than fascinated by her story, all his attention on her. She continued, "But I don't want anyone to get hurt because of my thoughts, so I can't do anything. I try to stay calm and placid, hoping that everything will go away on its own. If I can't control it, something horrible will happen around me. No one understands this conflict in my head. I've done things that I can never be forgiven for."

"I can understand it," he said, nodding again. The look on her face told him that couldn't believe that he'd accept her story so easily, but she smiled a bit. When White turns to Black, that's what this is like. She knows this feeling. "I really do. Hey, I bet you'd look good with white," he said, a slight sign of a grin forming on his features. He took the ribbons from her and started working at the twisted fabric. The knots eventually came loose between his fingers, and he gave them back to her. "Just because you've let these thoughts take over doesn't mean that you don't deserve to be happy."

He brushed several strands of white hair out of his face while he looked away from her; his eyes regaining their passive look. "The bus, it's coming," he said, standing up. The bus could be seen not far away, stopped at the nearest traffic light. Time had passed so quickly. "You coming?"

"Actually, I'm walking to the hospital. I was just resting. I don't have any money," Saki confessed, suddenly feeling embarrassed. She had sat there all that time waiting with him when she had things she still had to do. Tohru was waiting for her. "Sayonara." 

She walked away a couple of steps to head on her way but was stopped abruptly by his pressured hand on her shoulder. "Hey, wait." He had caught up to her, and once he was sure she wasn't about to leave he started searching in his pocket. "Here," he said, handing her some coins, "you don't want to walk all the way there from here. This bus stops there." She gave him a questioning look, so he confirmed, "My treat."

In no time, the bus pulled to a stop in front of them. Before she could protest his donation, he had a hold of her free hand and was pulling her inside the windowed doors to the back of the bus, stopping briefly to hand the driver some money. It was basically empty, only an elderly couple sitting together in the front seat.

"Thank you," she said, shaking a little. His touch was so strong, never would she be able to repel it, that is, if she had wanted to. She frowned at herself momentarily, but regained her composure as fast as she had lost it. "So, who are you?"

"Sohma Hatsuharu," he replied, completely nonchalant. "You?"

"Hanajima Saki."

* * * * *

**You want to look at the edge of madness, just to see what there is to see.   
  
You want to find what you're missing out on, come on over here, child.   
  
Don't you come here wasting my time, you're going to make it just fine.**

* * * * *

"Here's my stop," Saki said as they neared the hospital. "Thank you for listening to me. I appreciate it."

"No, thank you. I've done things I regret too. Remember, I'm just a stranger, what can I judge?"

Saki nodded. Somehow, talking to a complete stranger about her problems had felt wonderful. She almost wanted to learn more about this person. He understood, and that meant a lot to her. She wanted to understand him too, but she wondered if that was a strange thought to have about someone she barely knew. She put that idea out of her mind; she knew that she'd have to return to the real world that was her life. Tohru still needed her.

* * * * *

**Now your bent on the edge of blindness; what are you trying to see?   
  
You want to walk with a soul of darkness.   
  
But by stepping on those coals, you'll get those blisters on your feet.   
  
The waiting room is full, you're pressured and your pulled.   
  
Now your soul's tired from crawling on that barbed wire.**

* * * * *

She was too late to meet them. By the time Saki arrived at the hospital Tohru and Arisa were nowhere to be found. They must have already left for Tohru's apartment. She immediately belittled herself for wasting so much time for basically no good reason. She left the hospital and walked through the busy downtown streets towards Tohru's home.

Walking was definitely not Saki's forte; she had never been very successful in any sort of physical activity, as her failing gym grade proved. She clenched her fists at her sides, one set of fingers tightening around several flat, circular objects. She didn't even realize she was holding them until sometime later, when she had to stop and retie one of her shoes. It was currency. In her flustered state, she had not given the change to that driver. He had allowed both of them access to the bus, so she could only assume that Hatsuharu had paid for both himself and her too, even after he had already given her some money earlier! She felt guilty about it, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

The streets of the bazaar district were flooded with people. Tiny shops had been set up in parallel lines on either side of the road for an annual market event. The shops seemed to encompass anything that Saki could think of. She kept her mind on Tohru, but she couldn't help but stop in front of a flower vender. Dozens of blooming bouquets of flowers were sitting on stands, but the expensive signs made her cringe.

The elderly woman looked Saki up and down, eyes filling with distrust as she studied her dark outfit. Saki paid no mind to the woman's stares, and instead examined the signs again.

She pulled her white ribbons out of her pocket with her right hand and held them to her chest solemnly. She remembered how her mother had given them to her as a gift. Then there was the image Tohru, who would never be able to receive a gift from her mother ever again. She recalled something else, the sight of Kyoko handing both her and Arisa a single white lily after they promised to take care of Tohru whenever she was gone. She drew out of her reveries as her eyes settled on a dozen white lilies. She stared at them, wishing hard that she could afford such a gift for Tohru.

"Excuse me," a crackling voice caused Saki to avert her gaze from the flowers to the voice's owner, the grey haired flower vender. She seemed hesitant, her eyes still showing her fear, but also concern. "A-are you...in mourning? Pardon my intrusion, dearie. I-I mean no disrespect." Her fear of a harsh retort was evident.

Saki was surprised,, but answered, "Actually, yes. My close friend's mother has died, and I was thinking of her favourite flower. I could never think of purchasing such extravagant bouquets of lilies, I don't have much money." She opened her left palm to expose the coins, still searching for a more inexpensive option among the posted signs. It appeared that she would never be able to afford any sort of flower to comfort Tohru.

The venders eyes softened. "Life is fleeting, I know it well. We all don't appreciate the little time that we have to grace this earth until the hour glass is nearly empty." She stared at an imaginary person located somewhere behind and to the left of Saki. "My husband died recently. We fought a lot in our marriage, but I miss him with my whole being. I miss him so..." She lifted her hand to her cheek, wiping a stray tear or two away. She immediately rubbed her moist hand against her apron, erasing all evidence of the tears. "Appreciate all of your life while you can, I say. Don't let anything escape, even if it is something as simple as a sunset. Appreciate everything."

The woman rambled on, giving all of the advice she could to Saki, who remained focused on her words. It was something she would definitely have to think about. She knew she often looked at the dark side of things rather than the bright; but now was not the time to think about that. She absorbed the woman's words and stored them in the back of her mind to think about later. 

"It would be a shame to break up the dozen, but I think it is something that I should do. I do have a business to run here, but I'm willing to give you one for the little change you have there." She smiled weakly at Saki and held out the flower in her wrinkled hands. "Please, appreciate everything, even the little things that seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things."

Saki looked down at those aged hands, then back up to the seasoned face of the woman. She emitted waves of youthful hope, as if she was regaining more faith in the world every day she lived. The woman was wise, Saki could tell. She accepted the flower in exchange for the money and smiled, a real smile of appreciation. "Thank you. I will take your words to heart." She pulled the ribbons around the stem of the lily into a bow. The fabric intertwined with each other, each piece as important as the other.

_Thank you, kind woman, for your abundant advice and wise spirit. Thank you, Hatsuharu, for giving me your bounteous advice. How is it that two people who do not know me can still be influential? I will remember this always, even if we never cross paths in the future._

Thank you, Mother, Megumi, Tohru, Arisa, Kyoko; for accepting me for who I am and all parts of me, and allowing me to know who you really are inside. Thank you for your words and actions that have inspired me and shaped me into the person I am today.

I thank you all.

**Author Notes:** Chapter 4; Completed July 15th 2003, Revised and Uploaded August 15th 2003.   
_I chose lilies because in the episode where everyone visits Kyoko's grave, Tohru brings a bouquet of what looks like lilies. I didn't mean to end the chapter in such a sappy thankful way, but...it just happened. I didn't want to have Kyoko pass away, but the story would not work if this did not happen. I would like to take this time to thank my lovely reviewers, you guys are awesome and inspiring! Thank you very much for taking time to review. ^.^   
* * * * * Altered Excerpts from "Master and the Margarita" and "Apathy" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics_


	5. A Safe Place, A Haven

Punishment   
**Chapter 5: A Safe Place, A Haven**

The walls of Tohru's room were a light pink colour, but the atmosphere inside the room was quite different. Arisa was standing on a small stepladder in front of Tohru's shelves. One by one, she lifted the dainty ornaments from their place and handed them to Tohru, who in turn wrapped each ornamental figurine in protective wrap and placed it in the cardboard box in front of her. The room was quiet as they worked, neither girl saying no more than short phrases like, "should this one be packed seperately from the others?" Arisa coughed uncomfortably every once in a while, but she couldn't find the right words to say. Eventually, she ended up telling Tohru about one of the legends that she had heard in the Yankees about Kyoko as they worked at packing Tohru's belongings into the various boxes strewn across the room.

Saki entered the apartment's foyer and buzzed a familiar button on the wall. Almost immediately she heard Arisa's voice on the intercom, and the main door before her unlocked. Saki pulled the heavy doors open and let herself inside. Tohru's apartment was located on the third floor. A small group of people were waiting in front of the elevator already, so she headed up the staircase at the end of the hall. After the strenuous journey, she found herself standing outside of Tohru's doorway.

She felt anxiety building as she reached for the small doorbell. She was almost afraid to face Tohru; it would mean that everything would be confirmed, and she would know for certain that she wasn't living in some sort of twisted dream. The door opened slowly and Tohru appeared in the doorway.

"Hana-chan, come in, come in!" Tohru smiled a little and stepped back to allow Saki entry. She followed her to Tohru's bedroom where they joined Arisa. "Uo-chan has been helping me pack up my things."

"Oh? You're leaving here so soon?" Saki was a little surprised by that, she thought she might want to stay near her memories a little longer. The rent had already been paid for the month, so she could have stayed longer if she desired.

"Yeah," Tohru said sadly as she wrapped a particularly beautiful unicorn figurine made out of brass. Engraved on its side were Tohru's initials; she had received it on her fourth birthday from her late father. She held it in her hands for a few minutes before placing alongside the others. "I spoke to Shi - Grandfather at the hospital, and he said that he would love to have me living with him, my aunt and my cousins." She gave them both a nervous smile. "I thought it would be best to settle in sooner than later; mom always says - ano - said that I shouldn't put off what I can do today!"

Arisa seemed to be watching Tohru conscientiously from her high perch on the stepladder, but said nothing.

"Un," Saki said awkwardly as she sat on the edge of Tohru's bed. She realized she was still holding onto the lily. "Tohru-kun, I got you a little something. It's not much but," she trailed off as she handed Tohru the flower.

"It's beautiful, I love it!" Tohru beamed, ran off to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water holding the flower. "Thank you so much," she said as she placed it alongside a framed photo on her almost-cleared dresser. To stop the ribbons from getting wet, she untied them from the stem and circled them around the outside of the glass.

Saki found her smile somewhat worrisome. She did not think that she would have been able to smile so soon after the death of someone so close. It pained her to see Tohru hidden under that outer shell; she could still feel the sense of loss radiating from her. She couldn't hide those.

Tohru had become behind on wrapping because of the fuss over the flower, so Saki took her place in front of them and started on the small pile of ornaments Arisa had arranged on the floor. Tohru settled in front of her closet and started folding her clothes into neat piles in her suitcase.

They circled around the rooms in the small apartment, packing things they thought Tohru would need at her grandfather's into the boxes. They ended up having to call on a neighbour to borrow one additional box. After the entire day of packing, they managed to pack up a substantial amount of items. Tohru assured them that her aunt would be able to drive her home to pick up things like furniture to put them into storage.

"It's getting late, isn't it?" Tohru asked, glancing outside one of the bare windows in her room past the small pile of boxes. The darkness of twilight was already settling in. 

"I guess so," Arisa agreed, following her gaze. "Do you want someone to keep you company tonight? I can stay over if you want."

Saki nodded. "Yes, I can stay as well."

"But Uo-chan, Hana-chan! Tomorrow's Monday, you have school! I wouldn't want to you to be detained from it!"

"Eh, that doesn't matter," Arisa said, waving those thoughts away with her hand. "This is much more important! Unless you just don't want us to stay with you," she trailed off for effect.

Instantly, Tohru protested, "Of course I would love for you both to stay with me, but I just don't want to bother - "

"Then it's settled, we'll stay, at least until morning," Saki smiled as she spoke.

* * * * *

**If fate holds a purpose, I feel fate will lend a hand.   
  
If saves face deserts you, it deals grace from underhand.**

* * * * *

Tohru was stubborn sometimes. For the most part, she accepts everyone's words for what that are and will follow what they say. But on that day, she had held her ground. Morning had arrived, and the three girls were sitting at the table attempting to eat the perishable contents of the kitchen. It was tough, but it had to be done. Tohru always felt awful about wasting food, so she was making sure that they got the most out of it. There wouldn't be enough room at her grandfather's house, she told them.

Tohru was the first to notice the time as they finished clearing their plates. She kept on glancing up at the clock every few minutes. It almost seemed like she wanted to be alone. "It's almost time for school," she announced finally. "It's a bit of a longer walk from here, so it'd be best to leave soon. I'm sorry I couldn't have you stay longer, I've got to get to Grandfather's house."

Arisa studied Tohru from her chair for several seconds, then stood up and carried her dishes to the sink. "I guess we should get going. I think I have another test today."

"One day, do you think we could drop by your grandfather's house, Tohru-kun?" Saki asked.

Tohru seemed to think about the question before replying in an uncertain voice, "I suppose that would be alright, but not until after everything is settled."

This answer satisfied both Saki and Arisa for the time being. Both girls couldn't help thinking that her actions were a little uncharacteristic of her. But then, of course, she had been through a lot. They couldn't expect her to remain exactly the same throughout everything life sent their way.

* * * * *

**Can they stop my soul from breaking? Please, love.   
  
I can't say I'm hurting, but my soul is breaking. Reach out and save me.**

* * * * *

Days after the funeral had been held, Tohru visited Kyoko's grave side. She felt so far away from everything, rereading the words cast in the stone before her. It brought back everything, all the memories that she had carried with her from a child.

She could remember another grave yard visit that pained her. She had stood next to her mother, holding onto her hand. Her mother had smiled down at her with a sort of melancholy expression staying on her face. She spoke in slow fanciful fragments, telling wonderful stories about her father. The stories eventually stopped, and she knelt down to look levelly at Tohru in the face. "It's okay to cry, if you want to, Tohru-chan. You can do things your own way, alright?"

Tohru had smiled up at her mother and shook her head. She wouldn't cry, at least not in front of her mother. She would cry once she would be alone, she didn't want her mother to become emotional because of her own tears. Her eyes were moist, and Kyoko could see the tears being held back. 

And now, kneeling where her strong yet fragile mother was burried, she tried to find her resolve. _Mother...Father...You are together now, at last. Be happy, please, and watch down over me. I want to make everyone happy, and I will work twice as hard to fill your void. Don't worry, I'll be okay in my new home._

In the front pocket of her skirt, she carried two slips of paper. One, a short list of groceries she had been sent out to purchase: eggs, milk, leeks and potatoes. She had been on her way to the store, but she couldn't pass the graveyard without a visit to her mother. The other paper was a small newspaper clipping about the accident, something that she could still not read all the way through. She would always feel on the verge of tears upon reading it, but she kept it with her, hoping one day she'd be able to read it. She couldn't read past the sentence in the text that stated Kyoko had died when her car was struck by a certain car. The other driver's name was not mentioned, only a line that explained that the name of the person was being withheld for protection reasons. She would never be able to contact that person, she wouldn't be able to ask what went wrong, why her mother had been apart of that accident.

She felt foolish, standing there wondering about that person. Had they been in an emergency situation? Had they been dodging a cat that had stepped out into the road? Did they simply not see the refulgent red light at the intersection? Or could it even have been something awful, too horrible to print in the papers? Had the driver had a drink or two that day?

'Why?' was the biggest question on her mind. But not once did she lay the blame on that person. She couldn't for she didn't know the circumstances. A part of her nagged, wondering why the information was being withheld from her and the community. What had happened?

She clasped her hands together in front of her chest, praying. _Goodbye, Mother, be safe in heaven._

"Hey, Tohru!"

"Tohru-kun!"

Tohru turned around in surprise at the sound of those familiar voices. "Uo-chan? Hana-chan? What are you doing here?"

It was true, both girls were hurrying over to where Tohru was kneeling. She rushed to her feet, wiping the tears that had collected at her eyelashes away.

"I thought you would be here," Saki said at last.

"Alright, alright. I was wrong to doubt your senses," Arisa grumbled a little, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "Are you okay, Tohru?"

"Of course I am!" Tohru assured them. "I was just surprised, that's all. Ah!" She suddenly remembered the grocery list still in her pocket. "I promised to get the groceries and I got distracted!" she babbled as she stared at the list. "I need to do this, or why else should I be able to live there? Oh Mother, I'm failing them!" Her mouth was running a mile a minute, leaving Arisa and Saki slightly confused.

"Ano, Tohru-kun," Saki interrupted gently. Tohru stopped talking then and there. "Would you like us to accompany you to the store?"

"You couldn't, it would be too much! This is my responsibility as a member of the household, I must do it alone!"

"Hey, your grandfather isn't forcing you to do all the chores is he?" Arisa interrogated, raising an eyebrow. "It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate here."

"No, no, that's not it!" Tohru shook her head wildly, pressing on. "That's not it at all! That is, that is... it's just that I really want to be worth my keep so I offered to help out with the shopping, the dishes and cooking and things. They're not forcing me, really!"

"I would really like to visit your new home, Tohru-kun," Saki stated. "We must see if this is a suitable home for you to live in."

"Hana-chan! Ano, that won't be necessary. Besides, I can't have guests over right now. G-grandpa is getting older, you know. I think he's becoming senile, he thinks that I am my mother. I'm sure that he'd be even more confused if guests came over. Maybe another day when everyone else is out of the house." She laughed nervously and waved her list in front of them. "I must go pick up these items, I'll be back at school in a few days after I'm settled! See you!"

Arisa's mouth hung open as Tohru ran down the pathway away from them quickly as they both stood and watched. "Suspicious," Saki noted.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Arisa agreed, scratching her head in puzzlement.

* * * * *

**I can't stand the distance, I can't stand to not be afraid.   
  
I can't show resistance, I can't seem to run away.   
  
Because every time the past awakens, my soul starts breaking.**

* * * * *

It was an idle few days. Not having Tohru around in class made everything seem so much quieter, even if she was awfully shy in the classroom. Everyday they would enter homeroom expecting to see the smiling Tohru back and ready for school, but Tohru's seat remained vacant. The days passed uneventfully, little out of the ordinary besides Tohru's absence. 

On one of those almost indistinguishable days, a new student joined the class, Sohma Kyou. Saki found it a little strange that the ill-tempered, orange-haired boy had been accepted into Kaibara high so close to the end of the year - it would be just a little while longer before their final exams would begin. She paid little mind to the newest addition to their class, unlike the fan club girls. He was apparently related to the Prince, so they were highly interested in him.

Finally, the day came when Tohru would rejoin their class. Saki walked into class with Arisa, expecting to see her sitting in her seat waiting for them to arrive. She would wave for them to join her, and Saki and Arisa would sit down around her desk. They would share interesting news with each other, then Tohru would smile and laugh at one of Arisa's jokes. That would happen for sure, just like old times.

But it didn't happen as smoothly as Saki had pictured. No, not at all. She looked around the classroom, which was still quite vacant. She sighed as she sat in her assigned seat, rapping her dark nails along the side of the desk.

Tap, tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap, tap. Her fingers stopped their movements when she heard Tohru's familiar voice getting closer. "...I know that you're upset right now, but starting a fight just isn't a good idea! Not at school, you'll get in trouble for sure!" She must have been in the hallway, just out of Saki's line of vision.

"Yeah, yeah, but he just pisses me off," another voice, this one was male and sounded gruff.

"Maybe you should have a debate and court hearing, like those ones on TV! That would be a better way to work out your problems with Yuki-kun!" she suggested, the idea flowing out of her mouth quickly. "Definitely! With a mediator, a judge and a jury...you could hold a conference type of thing! You could invite the others - Momiji-kun, Hatsuharu-san and maybe even Kisa-chan and Hiro-san if they had the time - to be a part of the jury. I could even prepare snacks! Maybe some crackers with all sorts of different toppings, like salmon and - "

"Where the hell do you come up with this stuff?" he said, sounding more angry than before. "And why would I want them on the jury, when they're part of the reason I'm not accepted in the family in the first place? You don't think these things through before you say stuff, do you?"

"I'm sorry!" she said instantly, her voice dropping to a slightly dejected tone. "I guess it is a pretty silly idea...I just thought it would help."

There was a lull in their conversation, but then an awkward sounding phrase, "You know, those snacks did sound kind of appetizing though." 

Was that his form of an apology? Saki wasn't sure. She felt like standing up to find out who this young man was, for she had never really noticed Tohru talking so casually to many of the other boys in the class. Usually only when it related to schoolwork. She remained in her seat; Tohru would come in when she was ready to. People were entering the classroom, their footsteps making it harder to hear. Saki was straining a little to listen, and she realized that she shouldn't be blatantly eavesdropping like this. _It's part of the promise I made with her mother_, she excused herself, but was it her curiosity?

"Really? Well, I will make some just for you when I get home, as long as you don't get into a fight with Yuki today!" she said with a laugh as she entered the classroom doorway with the fiery Kyou alongside her, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Tohru, you shouldn't waste your time on him like that," Yuki's voice interjected, speaking more to get a rise out of Kyou than to scold Tohru. He entered the class a few steps behind her, so she turned around to face him. "I can help you study for your makeup test after school today."

"It's no trouble at all, Yuki-kun! I'll make some for you too, if you'd like, in exchange for helping me study!"

She waved as she left them both at the doorway, and she sat down at her seat. She waved to both of her friends from her position in the class - homeroom was about to begin.

It was hard to get a chance to talk to her all day - her time was taken by the two boys who remained by her side. It was difficult to understand, Yuki had never really talked to Tohru all that much, but then again, had Saki just not noticed? She could remember unexplainable occasions where they had spoken with some sort of hidden meaning behind her words.

By the end of the day, Tohru had still not had a good conversation other than of the greeting calibre. Tohru left school right away at the end of the day, but she promised she would write them both letters during her breaks at work to give them the next morning. She waved goodbye to them, walking in the opposite direction of the way the three normally walked together - with that new boy, Kyou. They couldn't fathom how Tohru could have ever gotten so close to him so suddenly, and she already was calling him 'Kyou-kun'.

Was she missing something? There were so many mysteries in the world, Saki realized. Unconsciously, she nudged a small, flat stone with the toe of her boot out of its normal position in the lush, green grass. The pebble had been hiding nothing; the combination of earth and grass that had been underneath it was identical to the surrounding area. She sighed. What was going on out of her sight with Tohru?

"What the hell is up with her today?" Arisa said crankily, both hands stuffed in her pockets as soon as she and Saki were away from the school. She got no response - Saki was thinking.

"I think there's something going on out of our vision," Saki finally announced.

Arisa nodded, looking up at the sky for a few seconds as if the clouds held the answers to their questions. "Yeah. I really want to visit her grandfather, I haven't seen him in years. I still remember where it is, kind of. If we walk to the neighbourhood he lives in, I'm sure I can recognize the house."

* * * * *

**In the face of the fire, I see angels conspire.   
  
Will they head my desires?   
  
Will they stop my soul breaking?   
  
Could they stop my soul breaking?   
  
Please, love.**

* * * * *

The house stood before them, a part of a large neighbourhood. To their surprise, the yard was not vacant. Two pickup trucks were parked in the driveway, both loaded up with planks of wood, tools and other supplies. A dark blue tarp was attached to a portion of the house as several workers toiled under it, shielded from the sun. Arisa looked up at the house's physical state in surprise; she had visited the home once before, but it looked so different than she remembered. Saki thought they must have arrived at the wrong place, but the name 'Honda' etched into the side of the mailbox.

"This is it, but it looks like they're getting some remodelling done on their house or something." Arisa said, walking around in the dusty grass.

"Tohru-kun didn't mention that her grandfather's house is getting an extension built." Saki wondered what was going on.

Arisa walked over to a man wearing a baseball cap who carried a clipboard. He just so happened to be critiquing one of the workers who was being particularly lazy, so she assumed that he was running the show. "Hey you! Question." she called loudly after he was done ranting. Saki followed her at a slower pace behind.

He seemed surprised as he saw the pair of strange girls walking towards him. "Uh, yeah?"

Arisa got straight to the point. "Do you know where the people who live here are staying? We need to see them." As an afterthought, she added, "It's an emergency."

He eyed them for a few seconds. They had certainly walked calmly for being in an emergency situation. _They're just kids_, he thought as he noticed their school uniforms, _so they be looking for a friend or something. Nothing serious._ "I don't know specifically, but I think that old man said something about staying at a relative's house."

Arisa sighed, but thanked him anyways. "Great, now we've got to do some detective work."

"A phone directory would help in this case," Saki pointed out. "Her grandfather is on her father's side of the family, is he not? Hopefully that means their relatives would be listed under 'Honda.' Unless... is Tohru's aunt her grandfather's child, or did she marry into the Honda family?"

"I have no idea, let's just hope they're listed." 

They headed to the nearest convenience store and looked for a phonebooth. Arisa flipped through the pages of the thick phonebook and scanned the names. "Hani.... Haruka....Hideki...Honaku...aha! There, Honda!" She glanced down the list and saw three people with the name Honda; Honda K, Honda M, and Honda O. Beside 'Honda K' was the address to Tohru's apartment, and beside 'Honda O' was the address that they believed Tohru's grandfather lived at. That only left 'Honda M' as Tohru's aunt. "Onward!"

* * * * *

**she won't say she's hurting,   
  
she still dreams in the undertow   
  
a safe place, a haven   
  
a kind face just to overthrow   
  
every time the past's awakened,   
  
every time her soul starts breaking.**

* * * * *

"Why would she be here?" a female girl who answered the door asked in disgust. "There's no way she would stay here, you know. You can't keep my cousin on such a short leash. She's out living with some men out in the middle of the forest, living it up... or didn't she tell you?" 

"What?!" Arisa exploded. 

The girl plowed on. "You can tell she's her mother's daughter, such a reckless, unthinking girl! You'd be best not to associate yourself with such low people." 

"You can't know who you're talking about! Tohru's not like that!" Arisa's fists were clenched at her sides; not only was she insulting Tohru, but also the honour of a woman who wasn't even alive to defend herself! It was despicable, and Arisa could feel the urge to teach that girl a lesson rising. 

"Arisa," Saki whispered, setting her hand on the Yankee's forearm. "Don't. Tohru wouldn't want that." 

"I guess not, but..." Arisa gritted her teeth and turned away from the girl standing in the doorway. She stalked off the porch, down the driveway and past a large hedge, Saki trailing not far behind. 

"Do you think she was lying?" 

"I don't know what to think anymore," Arisa said with a sigh.

**Author Notes:** Chapter 5; Completed September 22nd 2003, Revised and Uploaded September 23rd 2003.   
_Oh my. That's got to be the worst period of non-updates so far. Hopefully it won't happen again. I just *couldn't* come up for a way to get Kyou in there, because I need him for what I've got planned next, but I limited myself timewise. Ack.   
Anyways, I really want to thank you all for your wonderful reviews and your patiences! Thanks everyone for reading, I hope you enjoyed this!   
* * * * * Altered Excerpts from "Soulbreaking" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics_


	6. Bless Of An Angel

Punishment   
**Chapter 6: Bless of an Angel**

_Dear Hana-chan,_

I want to begin by saying, "I'm sorry." I kept a secret from you and Uo-chan, something I shouldn't have done. I know you both worry about me very much, and I don't want to be the cause of your distress. I wanted to tell you earlier, but I was afraid that you'd think lesser of me for my choices. It was silly of me.

Grandfather's house is being renovated, and is much too small to hold another person in any case. I didn't want to burden you, knowing that you have such a large family to care for. Since Mother was so close to Sohma Shigure-san before she...passed away, I have become close to some members of the Sohma family - particularly Shigure, Yuki, and Kyou, who I am currently living with. I couldn't bear to tell you that I was living with three boys in the forest, what would you both think of me? But now I realize, I was being a little silly thinking about such a frivolous thing.

There is something much more serious which kept me from telling you too. It's the head of the family, Akito-san. I've only met him once; at first glance I was reminded me of Yuki-kun. But I knew that he didn't have the same personality at all, in fact, I think Yuki's scared of him. I think that he doesn't like me very much, he seems to see me as a threat for some reason. I am supposed to stay away from them, I feel like I am such a burden to their family! Shigure is keeping me at the house in secret from the clan head for now. I worry about putting the others at risk - if I stay, am I making Yuki-kun or Kyou-kun lie about not seeing me? I'm not sure why I'm so hated, but Shigure assures me everything will be okay. I think I may remind him a little of Mom, so I want to stay to keep him happy. Plus, both Kyou-kun and Yuki-kun are very nice too, and I want to learn more and more about them. I've only been keeping this a secret in order to protect them, but I asked Shigure and he said I could tell my closest friends.

I'm sorry for burdening you with all of this, but my head is spinning with all of the things that have been going on lately. I'm concentrating on living my life one day at a time. I will work on not hiding from my problems so much.

And, "thank you," is another thing I want to say. Thank you for everything that you've done for me. Remember, you can talk to me about what's going on in your life too, right? 

Ah, my break is over, I've got to get back to work!

With love,   
Honda Tohru

The pieces fell in place, and Saki finally understood what was going on in Tohru's life. From then on, with one less secret being withheld between the trio, they could only grow closer. As the school year drew to a close, Arisa and Saki had befriended Yuki and Kyou...sort of. It wasn't exactly the closest of friendships, but the mutual link of Tohru held them together. 

Yes, they were now friends.

* * * * *

**You've been looking for God. You've been down on your knees.   
  
Will the angel believe in hell?**

* * * * *

It was the final week of school, and the quintet was heading on their way homes from school. Saki pushed open the main doors and was followed by Tohru and Arisa, who were chattering about nothing in particular. Behind them, Yuki was bantering idly with Kyou, who was starting to get worked up.

Saki wasn't really engaging in the conversations around her. Instead, her mind was focused on something else. She could feel something in the air, something she vaguely recognized. She honed in on the waves, but she couldn't place who it was she was sensing.

She stopped walking when she suddenly realized who it was. She squinted a little at a figure that was coming toward their group steadfastly. It was _him_, she was almost certain.

Tohru walked into her back, and Yuki nearly collided into Tohru from behind. She peered around Saki's shoulders to see who it was. "Hatsuharu-san?" Saki was surprised that she knew him too. _That's right, he's a Sohma. I should have known. Hatsuharu, Kyou and Yuki all must be related. How obvious, considering their unique wavelengths._ "Shouldn't you be at school right now? I didn't think that the middle school gets out this early," she continued, moving forward a little.

Haru didn't acknowledge her. Instead, he walked right past Tohru toward Kyou, his stormy hair swaying in the wind. "I thought I'd find you here."

"I'm more surprised that he found Kaibara without Momiji's help," Kyou muttered to no one in particular. His comment remained unheard to the person it was about.

"I came to challenge you," he said simply as he pulled off his long white coat, mindlessly throwing it to the ground in a heap.

"Haru, I'm not going to fight you again. We fought at New Years, or don't you remember? You were passed out so long afterwards after I kicked your ass!"

Haru ignored that comment, still wanting to fight. A twisted grin formed on his face. "What is it, Kyou, did you become a little kitten after being away from the main house so long? Fight me, right now."

_Kitten?_ Arisa gave Saki a strange look. Tohru flinched at the word and looked at the ground. "Kyou-kun, please don't fight today! You'll get caught for certain!" They were on school property, not even too far from the main doors, so surely a teacher would discover them at some point.

Kyou's eyes darted between Tohru and Haru, seemingly torn between both requests. He always loved a good fight, and he was still mad from arguing with Yuki. It would be a good way to release his anger.

Arisa egged him on despite Tohru's pleas."Don't be a 'kitten,' Kyou, just fight him and get it over with! Show that guy who's boss if you've beaten him before!"

"Stay out of this, woman," Kyou said in his most intimidating voice. 

Of course, Arisa didn't see Kyou as an intimidating person in the least so she laughed and continued to bother him anyway. "Can't you just picture it? Our little ickle Kyon-Kyon, wearing fuzzy orange cat ears with an oversized jingling cat-bell around his neck!"

"That would be a sight to see," Saki had to agree. Neither of them knew how close Kyou could come to their "kitty" image.

"Can't you just picture Arisa with a broken nose?" he countered automatically, turning to raise a fist in her direction.

"No. No, I can't." Saki eyed him with a dark expression, and he backed up a few steps. "I would have to do... something." _If it was to protect Tohru or Arisa, maybe using the waves would be okay. As long as it wouldn't cause anything too serious._ His dropped his so-called menacing fist down to his side. Light static seemed to flicker in his ears so he rubbed them and his hearing returned to normal. He turned around to face his challenger.

"I'm not scared of you, Haru!" he yelled feverishly, stepping into a fighting stance. He threw his first punch which Haru blocked. It became the first in a long string of moves that the two exchanged. It was considerably less graceful than a ballet performance.

"I'm sorry, Honda-san, I've got a student council meeting to get to before I'm late." Yuki said regretfully.

"Ah, okay, Yuki-kun!" she gave him a dashing smile and a small wave. "I'll see you later." She glanced at Arisa and Saki who were both busy watching the all-out fight taking place in front of them. Uotani cheered Kyou on, raising a fist in the air with glee or adding comments like "what kind of sissy hit was that?", while Saki merely watched silently.

"Listen to me carefully, Honda-san," a worried expression formed on Yuki's features, "please don't try to break up their fight, whatever you do." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "You know what happened to you last time. They're a couple of brawling idiots, alright? You might get hurt again."

"I don't think that they are idiots..." Tohru started to say but trailed off as she watched the two swing their limbs at one another, each time coming closer to injuring the other. Whenever they made contact, she would flinch as if she was feeling it herself.

"Be careful, alright?" he emphasized and was bombarded with bright 'don't worry about me' phrases from Tohru. He wasn't exactly convinced, but he had to go. The battle continued as he walked back into the school.

In the midst of their fight, Haru suddenly backed off. He walked away from Kyou, and looked around blankly at the faces of the few spectators who had gathered around to watch. "Where'd Yuki scurry off to?"

"Damn it, Haru, you really are an idiot! Do you want to fight or not?" Kyou yelled to the back of Haru's head.

"There may be nothing like the thrill of a battle, but there's something else I want." He scanned the faces again, still searching for the boy with lavender hair. His dark grey eyes lingered on Tohru's._ No, she won't do._ She didn't have that poise and equanimity that Yuki reacted with. Finally, his eyes settled on Saki, who still stood watching the fight with an impassive look upon her face. _Perfect._

"Saki-chan," he nearly purred, the term of endearment adorning her name sounding especially strange to her ears. "Remember me? The stranger you'd never see again?" he asked as he sauntered over to her.

"Yes," she said slowly, not enjoying the feeling of him advancing so close. _But I don't remember these eyes....they're so dark. They had seemed like a light cloudy grey before._ He angled his head slightly to the right as he let one hand settle on her left shoulder, the other falling to her waist. She showed no reaction, only looking at the changes in his pair of eyes that startled her insides. She wanted to step back, but her feet did not obey.

"Idiot!" she could hear Kyou hiss in a low tone. "Don't get so close. You're such a fool." And even more quietly, he muttered a harsher insult, "Dumb cow." Simultaneously, she could hear a worried gasp from Tohru, and a questioning, "What the hell?!" from Arisa. A random bystander hollered something incomprehensible. 

One moment Haru was standing in front of her with that questionable look in his eyes, and the next moment, he had grazed her lips gently with his. As quickly as he had come, he was gone. Kyou had pulled him back by his arm, and they were back to their clashing challenge.

Wordlessly, Saki watched the fight proceed, but it didn't really register into her mind. Who won, she did not know. Arisa and Tohru surrounded her, and asked her how she was. She was perfectly fine on the outside, but inside she was a mess. A part of her hated herself from not defending herself with her electric waves, but another part almost...welcomed it. 

* * * * *

**Wanting more than the bless of a beautiful kiss from the one who fell.   
  
Now it's so hard to tell.   
  
Like an opium dream, through your psyche extremes,   
  
It relieves and believes the pain that your body made.   
  
I know, please don't wave goodbye.**

* * * * *

The math teacher stood at the front of the class, a short piece of paper in his hand. It was nearing the end of the second last day of the school year, and he took the time to dictate the homework, which was answered with a buzz of complaints throughout the class. "There is only one day left, yet we have work to do?" they protested. He ignored that, and continued to list off some students who had to stay after class for a few minutes. Saki didn't pay much attention until her own name was called amongst three others.

She remained sitting in her seat as the rest of the class filed out of the room at the bell. Tohru gave a little good luck smile, and called to her that she would wait for her outside with Arisa.

A tall, dark-haired boy who sat about two rows away from her was the first to talk to the teacher. Disappointment crossed his features at the teacher's quiet words, but he nodded. He walked back to his seat, sighing loudly as he went.

"You're feeling discontent with yourself?" she asked him, the first thing she had ever said to this person.

"What? Oh yeah, just some bad news," he shrugged, shoving his books into his backpack.

"You're failing the course, aren't you?" she guessed. It was the only thing she could think of that would make his waves feel like they were.

"I guess," he answered vaguely. "Wait, you're waiting to have to talk to him.... Does that mean you're failing too? But you're a...psychic, aren't you? Can't you just, you know....sense the right answers?"

She shook her head. Psychic, her? Though, that would really make sense. She could hear things sometimes, but she had never really thought about it that way. It was more of the feelings that she could sense, something that gave her the gist of what a person wanted or was suffering from. Those extreme feelings were the ones she could sense, not something as trivial as answers to a few math problems. "No, I can't. Sorry to disappoint. Maybe I'm not as much of a monstrosity as you all think I am." She piled up her books as the teacher called her to his desk, her blank expression resettling on her face.

"That's not what I meant!" he protested. "I just thought it would be a little, you know... neat." As Saki walked up to the teacher, a small smile had appeared on her face. She did not reply.

She had guessed that it would happen, failing the course. Although she did understand the work, she did not enjoy the stress of having to complete all of the homework. She did have a plan, one that she had used throughout her entire school life. It wasn't anything complicated; she would simply maintain a high-fail average, try half-heartedly on the exam, fail the exam, and then have the chance to take the retest on, which she would pass with flying colours. The plan worked well every year without a hitch. She knew she had failed the exam the previous week, so she expected to be told about a retake exam by the teacher in this very conversation.

Well, there was definitely a hitch for her this year. The teacher had a disappointed frown on his face as he explained that she would be held back a year in the math course. She didn't react to his words at first, not expecting them to be so...final. "When will the retake exam take place?" she asked confidently.

"Retakes? There are no retake exams for this course." His words hit her hard as she realized what that meant. She really had failed, there was no doubt about that. Her foolproof plan had failed, proving she was a fool herself. It truly was something. Retake exams were always easier, so why not take that path? It was the right one to take, she had assured herself so long ago. But now, here she was, standing and failing herself. How could that have been the right action to take if this was where she had ended up? 

"No retake exam?" She had to confirm what she was hearing. It couldn't be true.

"Not for this level course. The academic stream does not have retests to be sure that students are keeping up on their work habits and studying. Because in the real world, you do not have second chances, so the members of the faculty are working on preparing you for your future." He nodded with an apologetic smile on his face. "Retests are only available for students who were in emergency situations that made them unable to be at school on the day of the exam."

"I see," Saki said dejectedly. "There is nothing that can be done then, Sensei?"

"Sorry," he told her. "I'll probably be seeing you again next year."

* * * * *

**You'll be sleeping tonight, safe in the arms of Morpheus.   
  
You've escaped through these means, these delirious dreams.   
  
It helps to shelter and soothe your soul.   
  
The salvation they sold satisfied your desire to burn.   
  
And now you've learned.**

* * * * *

Saki's head pounded with each step she took up the stairs in her house. The steps seemed to be taking away the remnants of her already-drained energy. What a day it has been. All she wanted to do was collapse in her bed and forget about the day's events. After her talk with the teacher, she had immediately told Tohru and Arisa that she had failed the course. She regretted telling Tohru. Surely, Tohru was going through more turmoil herself, even if she tried to convince everyone to believe the opposite. It was too late though, the words had already left her mouth. They both assured her it would work out alright. Saki told them she thought so too halfheartedly. And what had happened during Hatsuharu and Kyou's fight? It was such a strange development which Arisa had teased her about to no end on the walk home. 

What idiosyncratic behaviour she saw from Hatsuharu. Of course, what did she really know about him? He was a stranger, he had said so himself. But still, it was almost as if a mask covered his face. A thick masks would render vision difficult. The little that could be seen would be so narrow and concentrated that it'd be like that's all that exists. She felt even more puzzled the longer she thought about it, tracing her bottom lip with her finger as she remembered his closeness. It was a waste of time to think; it was over and done.

She sighed and headed to her bed, still fully clothed in her school uniform. She had barely hit the pillow when sleep overtook her. She hoped that in slumber her mind would be able to rest once more.

But it seemed that the longer she slept, the more jumbled her mind became.... 

_It was the largest mountain she had ever seen in her life, glorious and sublime. It was surrounded by sinking sand and dangerous, jagged rocks hindering any person from voyaging to its foot. But still, its visitors plowed on, determined to reach the top of its mountainous heights. A prize unlike no other waited there; something beyond imagination. What would be found there, no one was sure. It was a feat for someone to be able to climb this seemingly unscalable mountain; its cliffs were set at such horrendous angles that they were nearly perpendicular to the ground._

The sand pulled in many of the weak hearted people who attempted to cross its depths. They were stopped from even making it to the lowest part of the mountain. It was a pity. Saki watched as dark shadows sunk into the sand, followed by silvery spectres floating up into the atmosphere. Looking up, she watched as they floated skywards, past the summit of the mountain and into nothingness. Even in death, they wouldn't receive 'the prize.' Everyone wanted 'the prize,' it seemed. Who would grasp 'it' in the end?

She wouldn't be like those shadows, succumbing to dissolution. She cleared her mind, thinking of nothing but happy times she had shared with loved ones. Her feet barely touched the granules of sand beneath her toes; she had walked over the sand, and had passed the first test. Walking about ten minutes north would land her at the base of the mountain.

After passing the sinking sand, there was a short stretch of jagged rocks sticking out of the ground in every direction. Sand and dust had settled in the crevices. She stumbled over the rough terrain. She took a spill as one of her shoes loosened on her foot. She retrieved her shoe, but found she was no longer alone. 

Ahead of her, several feet away, stood a woman. She stood tall and proud, long blonde hair swirling around her. She had a white piece of fabric, a mask, tied around her face, concealing her facial expressions. 'Arisa, is that you?' _She seemed distant. All Saki could see were her eyes, which were not looking straight ahead. They were averted slightly away from her, staring out of the corner of her. She held out one hand in front of her, all five fingers spread apart in a 'stop' gesture._

"No, this is not the way to go," she warned Saki in her deep yet feminine voice. That same hand left its previous position. Now she held it as far away from herself as she could towards the east, pointing the same direction she was staring at. "The direction from which the sun rises is definitely the right way to go." Her eyes twinkled slightly as her eyes turned back to watch Saki's decision.

From behind the blonde, an older woman appeared as if by some magical means. She stepped a few steps back from Arisa and twirled around on the spot. This movement displayed the fleeting image of a stylized red butterfly on the woman's riding jacket. "Don't listen to her. She's confused, you know. The east is just the beginning of the journey. You should head west, the sun's final destination." The woman's face was recognizable right away, although it bore more signs of age than Saki remembered. 'The Legendary Kyoko? Alive?'_ With flare, the red-haired mother extended her arms and motioned towards the west._

Saki scanned the two women she greatly respected who stood before her. They said nothing, merely pointing in their respective directions. She shook her head, genuinely confused about the path she should take. She craned her neck towards the sky, looking at her goal. For many long moments, she stood and did nothing. Finally, she tore away from them in a run, ignoring their pleading looks; they did not move from their positions to stop her. 'I want to follow my own path, but thank you nonetheless.' _She ran between the two, and managed to arrive at the mountain's base. It was strange, both of them seemed older, yet Saki still felt like such a child._

Small pieces of earth, footholds, had been gouged out of the side of the cliffs by previous people who attempted to climb to the top of this masterpiece of a mountain. There were no safety lines to secure her. This was for real. Using the holes strategically, she placed her feet into certain holes, pulling herself to higher footholds with her hands. Dirt crumbled beneath her fingers, but still she climbed, ignoring the danger. How was it that she was able to climb like that? She had never gone climbing before. She continued on, watching in horror as another silver spectre floated on towards the heavens. 'I have to concentrate. Just ignore it.' _She hiked up her insensible skirt, the black ribbons tied around her wrists fluttering in the wind._

She looked up at the white layer of clouds; only tiny expanses of light blue sky interrupted their continuity. The entire landscape had a strange quality of fantasy calibre, but it still seemed so just and true. It must have been real. The light brown dirt faded into grey, and finally at the top it was pure white. So pure, it was freedom. Why was she pursuing that freedom? She yearned to get closer, she wanted it.

Saki squinted up. Besides the spectres drifting farther away in the updraft, two people were climbing, both nearing the top. One, a man dressed in a black two-piece track suit with strange purple locks. He was tall and lanky; if she hadn't been watching him climb at that particular moment, she would have sworn that he seemed unfit for it. 'Is that Yuki? It appears that way...' _Neck to neck, another man climbed alongside him to his left, as if racing to get to the goal before the other. This red-haired man shot looks of contempt from his scarlet orbs, laughing eerily as the first one nearly lost his grip on the mountain side. He recovered, and they continued. They crawled up onto a ledge. There was such a small distance left to climb before they would reach the top._

"You can't escape this punishment; this is who you are." From under purple strands of hair, the voice was vicious and uncharacteristic of the Yuki she knew. "Time is almost up for you to lose to me forever. The clock is ticking even now. Come on, give yourself up."

Saki felt the urge to get up there, to help this man from those harsh catcalls. 'Is that the same fiery Kyou? He would never take that talk from Yuki.' _She pressed on, her pace picking up, her breath becoming ragged. As she climbed, the ribbons fluttering in front of her changed into white ones. Tucked against the ribbon on her left wrist was the white lily she had given Tohru. Instead of feeling the strain of climbing, Saki felt as if she was no longer inside her body; she was a spectator in some strange onstage production, merely a member of the audience. She watched as her body shape shifted completely, a grand transformation. Instead of watching herself, she was watching the struggle of Honda Tohru._

Beads of sweat dripped from Tohru's forehead as she pushed herself forward. She somehow reached them before they lost control; she screamed for them to stop fighting, please, for her. Her arm was lying along the edge of the rock as she attempted to gain the strength to pull herself up to where the men stood.

"This is going to be over," a malicious grin spread across the normally polite boy's face, "now." In a swift movement his leg slammed into Tohru's arm. Time seemed to slow as Tohru's eyes widened then clenched themselves shut. Her arms flailed around her, but it was too late. She started to fall.

"It's as it has always been said, no one can ever save us. Don't you see?" The red-haired boy's mouth dropped open, not at the words spoken by the other, but at the sight of Tohru falling away from him. He jumped down with no consideration of his personal health, grabbing hold of her and holding her close as they plummeted the unimaginable distance to the jagged rocks and quicksand below. 

"So close to freedom....You were so close, I'm sorry, Kyou-kun," Tohru whispered into his ear. 

Saki didn't know how it ended, whether or not a miracle would occur; curtains drew closed around the scene before her. There was no encore. The performers did not take their final bows. It was dark in the theatre of her mind.

**Author Notes:** Chapter 5; Completed October 15th 2003, Revised and Uploaded October 17th 2003.   
_This dream sequence is the premise behind this entire story. The effect on choices, influences, and things out of your control that make up her entire life. You'll see where all the connections from her surreal dream come from in the story as you read on.   
Thank you all for your kind reviews! You're all wonderful *hugglesquishes and cookies for all*_   
* * * * * Altered Excerpts from "Lullaby" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics


	7. Revelations

Punishment   
**Chapter 7: Revelations**

With a gasp, Saki shot up in her bed, the conceptual dream still reeling through her mind. The moment she opened her eyes, her brain begged for her to return them to their closed positions. The dark room around her wasn't exactly a welcoming sight in her state; the beams of passing cars outside the nearly drawn curtains caused curious shadows to creep across the walls, and the walls (which she knew perfectly well were stable) seemed to lean in on her, as if they were going to collapse any moment.

She threw back her thin duvet and slid out of her bed to receive a slight jolt from her warm feet hitting the cold floor. She was much too worked up to find her slippers, which were usually left not far from the foot of her bed. Instead she slunk past her door, careful not to wake Megumi, and headed down the stairs.

"Mindful now," she whispered to herself. "One step at a time." With each step, pieces of her dream seemed to come back to her in blinding flashes. The hands of the two people she admired the most, both pointing in different directions. Climbing up a mountain with unimaginable heights. The souls of those who had failed before her floating away into the limitless sky. Two young men chasing towards a common goal. The sight of her close friend falling into the darkness with a man who obviously loved her to his fullest abilities. The uncertainty of it all....

Finally, she reached the bottom step. She flicked on a lamp and curled onto the old, black leather sofa. Only when she noticed that her legs were becoming chilled against the naturally cold fabric did she realize that she had gone to bed in her school uniform the night before. Her shirt was in a wrinkly state, but that was the least of her worries.

She flipped on the television set with no intention of watching anything in particular. There were only reruns playing at that time of morning anyway. One of those corny reality programs appeared on the screen, a program she recognized as one that her mother watched often. Groups of teenagers were given life jackets and had to go white water rafting as a challenging race in a survival gameshow. The pace was too fast - Hana watched as one group couldn't keep up to the others. Her face remained uninterested. 'Even in the plastic world of television people can't pull through. I suppose that is life.'

She pushed the 'off' button; this brief stint with television reminding her of why she never watched the blasted thing. So pointless. She looked down at the finger which had stopped the infernal machine. The polish on her nails has long since worn away, and she had never felt the need to reapply. She had felt so safe with Tohru and Arisa that she hadn't felt the need.

However, the closeness that she had experienced with Haru, she decided, was beyond what she wanted. She couldn't accept what had happened, and the difference in his electric waves. It was... startling. She should have fought back from his quick kiss with a shock, but she had done nothing. It was her sin, and her punishment was to stay away from such intimacy. Haru had surely added to her punishment, tugging at her emotions as he had.

Rummaging around a small lace purse she kept in the hallway, she pulled out a familiar bottle. With lightening fast strokes which came from what seemed like years of practice, the unapproachable dark colour had been reapplied.

"Perfect."

****

**Do you feel the same again? I've returned to the within.   
  
I'm trying hard to make amends for your failings and your faults.**

Nearing the end of her vacation, her family needed groceries and her youngest sister wanted to go for a walk, so Saki used the late evening to do both. With her youngest sister Naru's hand in her own, they walked slowly down the street at Naru's pace. Naru seemed chipper that morning, singing a song softly to herself, looking up at Saki every once in a while to make sure that her sister didn't mind. Saki could tell that her little sister was still a little frightened of her, and sometimes looked at the billowing black dress Saki wore with apprehensive awe.

"We'll go to the gas station to pick up a few necessities." Saki said simply as Naru nodded. Normally, she would have gone to the market downtown, but she wanted to see Arisa. She knew that she would be getting off work at the station within the next...(she looked at her watch)...twenty minutes.

Saki watched the sidewalk seemingly scroll beneath her feet. She absently counted the number of cracks in the cement as her sister's quiet singing voice and energy melded into her surroundings. It was very peaceful.

That is, until a recognizable wave formation reached her body. She could feel it in her skin that a Sohma was getting closer to her. She looked up from her pleasant crack-counting activity and gazed in the direction of the troublesome waves.

She knew it. It was Hatsuharu. He caught her glance and nodded solemnly, continuing on his way coolly. She nodded back vaguely, turning her attention back to the sidewalk. But she had lost count because she had noticed something different about him. He was carrying a white plastic bag of groceries full of fresh vegetables which poked out the top. The contents of the bag hadn't startled her, of course. It was the hand which was starkly visible against the bag - a hand with unconventionally coloured dark polish.

She couldn't ignore it. Was he feeling regret for what he had done outside so he decided to wear the sign of sin she had grown accustomed to wearing herself? She couldn't remember if she had told him the meaning behind black polish or not....

No, she had to be reading too much into it. Surely, it was just his unique sense of style.

Nevertheless, she couldn't help but wonder just what he could be thinking beneath that intriguing hair of his.

She had expected his energy to fall from her radar quickly, she could feel that he had paused in his steps. "Saki-chan," he said with little force or emotion. The suffix still seemed inappropriate to her, but she turned around to face him, startling her sister who hadn't heard his voice.

She didn't reply, simply watching him for a moment.

"You shouldn't look at the ground when you walk. You're going to miss out on too much. Isn't it beautiful?" He pointed up ambiguously, and Saki followed his finger to the brilliantly coloured sky. Naru tugged on her hand impatiently, but Saki continued to stare. The sky was tinted a lovely pink from the barely setting sun, only interrupted by the soft purple cumulonimbus clouds. Upon realizing that Hana wasn't going to listen to her pleas, her sister stared up at the clouds to discover what the visual treat was.

As the minutes passed by, the pink started to fade into a darker shade of mauve. The contrast between the clouds and their backdrop lessened and became a part of one another. Such a simple spectacle was so magnificent - she felt her soul lift and fill with life. It was wonderful. The only two things which distracted from its beauty was the unappreciative sister pulling on her arm and the tall, lifeless skyscrapers which surrounded the scene like a picture frame; a natural event was still able to be seen within the manufactured chaos of city life.

She heard his footsteps walking away, but not before he said, "It begs to be appreciated. Do you see?"

_That wise old flower vender said that once, it seems like it was so long ago,_ Saki remembered. _A revelation_. It was true. Appreciate the little things.

****

**It must come like the sun, a revelation.   
  
Another glimpse please, a revelation.**

_Appreciate me.   
  
_ _You can see me? I can feel your waves judging my true self.   
  
_ _I don't deserve to see you or the waves of your mentality.   
  
_ _You shouldn't be afraid of me, I am just like you.   
  
_ _A curse? I can feel it. I want to know it, I want to share it.   
  
_ _I won't burden you by finding out, it's your family secret?   
  
_ _I say I won't find out, but my heart begs to know more.   
  
_ _There's so much more behind your eyes.   
  
_ _I want to see. I don't deserve to see the truth!   
  
_ _The darkness is just a mask, my persona. Is it yours?   
  
_ _To keep you away at the farthest distance.   
  
_ _I will try my best to do this favour, to stay away from you.   
  
_ _Appreciate my generosity.   
  
_ _Appreciate my kindness.   
  
_ _Appreciate the way that I will stay behind you.   
  
_ _Not beside you.   
  
_ _Appreciate me fully, even if you cannot understand me.   
  
_ _Let me run away.   
  
_ _Please, why don't you let me leave you all alone?   
  
_ _I cannot help but think of you deep inside.   
  
_ _I want to feel your waves once again.   
  
_ _Sometimes I wish these waves would betray me.   
  
- Saki_

****

**In this life, it makes you wonder.   
  
You feel no shame to come undone.**

Arisa snickered and stuck out her tongue lightheartedly as Saki came up to the till with a mature expression on her face as she demanded (in an attempt at a masculine voice) that she could purchase a carton of the strongest cigars behind the glass counter, mimicking the words of an old man who had been in line before her. "Get outta here!" Arisa couldn't help but laugh, only sad that the old man had already left and couldn't hear his own gruff words coming from the mouth of a young highschool girl.

"What are you doing here?"

Saki lifted a carton of milk and some supplies for packing lunches. "Food." she answered simply. "Is your shift over soon? You can come over after if you want. Vacation is terribly boring."

"I'm feeling it too, I'll definitely be there." Arisa grinned as she bagged Saki's merchandise. "Geez, it seems like the same people come to this station everyday."

"I'm always glad to break the mould of the same old, same old." Saki nodded, taking her merchandise off the counter and passing one of the treats to Naru to entertain her until Arisa's shift was over.

After her work, the two older girls held the hands of Naru between them and walked back to Saki's house. Naru was glad to be home and went to play with her older siblings in the family room.

Saki led Arisa up to her room up the stairs and down the narrow hallway. Her door was second from the end in the hall. She flicked on the hallway lights as she passed the switch. Another door in the hallway, the one on the end, creaked open. A man walked out of it, dressed in a cheap knock off of a brand-name suit. Saki slowed her steps, moving closer to one side of the hall to allow room for him to pass. He carried a leather suitcase in his right hand, a pile of loose leaf papers in the other. He flipped through the pile, not looking up as he passed by them. He did not make an effort to communicate, and neither did Saki. She turned her head away from both her father and Arisa, and for the second instance that day, lowered her head to stare at the floor.

The atmosphere was tense.

_ That's right. What am I thinking, brining Arisa home? I'm supposed to keep everyone away, but instead I'm drawing them closer to my life and my problems. I've got to remain steadfastly indifferent, apathetic, and solid._

It should be easy, yet why can I not break away? This hurts.

Arisa raised an eyebrow once he was out of sight. Saki shook her head and continued down the hall, and Arisa did not pursue it. She would learn eventually.

"Guess what I've got on my pocket." Arisa said, one hand emerging from her pocket with two pieces of paper.

"Information?"

"That's a very vague answer, but yes, information from Tohru. One for me, one for you." She passed one of the slips to Saki, and she unfolded it.

"Invitations." On the paper listed Tohru's new address and a request for them to come over because she had a confession to make. "We certainly must go then. And since we are invited, there will surely be snacks."

"Yeah. Let's hope the confession isn't something too serious."

****

**So you want to be my friend, heaven help you if you fall.   
  
All this time it's made me wonder.   
  
Do you feel no shame to come undone?**

"Is it alright for me to still be home? I know you don't want to tell them that you are living here with us until later."

"Don't worry, there's still a lot of time before they arrive. Shigure's on the back porch eating some salad I prepared, and Kyou-kun's still in the backyard training."

There was silence at the mention of Kyou's name.

"...Are you upset with me, Yuki-kun?"

"Not upset _with_ you, Honda-san. I was thinking about lunch. I just....don't understand how you can let him push you around like that. If you put your heart into making leek soup and he says he hates it, you shouldn't just whip up a new batch of soup to suit his fancy."

"Eh? Why not? He hates leeks, and I should have known better. I want to take care of him...I love cooking! Don't worry! If anything, he's helping me learn more about him! I want to learn more about Kyou-kun and Yu-"

"It's always him," the voice said softly.

"No, everyone here in this house! I care very much about each of you."

_I hate that you care so much about him. How you ask 'Is the food alright?' to him, but since I always smile at you when you serve it to me, you don't ask _me_ if it's fine. I hate feeling this way._

"I hear a male voice." Arisa said as she stepped up onto the wooden step in front of the sliding front door. Arisa nearly panicked, remembering the harsh words of Tohru's cousin: "You can't keep my cousin on such a short leash. She's out living with some men out in the middle of the forest, living it up... or didn't she tell you?" This couldn't be the confession Tohru was talking about?

"They're fighting?" _I feel a Sohma._ Saki slid open the door and called hello.

A sudden quiet explosion was heard and a small white rat scurried in a straight path out the door. Saki was enthralled by the small animal for a moment and watched it disapeer into a shrubbery.

"Don't just stand their letting the cool air out." Arisa said, pushing Saki gently into the hallway.

"Oh yes...right." But that rat seemed so human.

They both sat at the low table which was half-prepared. "You guys came earlier than I expected! What a welcome surprise!"

"Ano- Tohru. Why is there men's clothing right there?"

Tohru swiftly picked up the mysterious male clothing which lay on the floor in the kitchen in panic. "Oh these? I was just doing the laundry when you came in! Sorry about this mess! I wasn't finished preparing dinner for us yet and -" a noise at the back door was heard, "- please excuse me for a moment!"

She rushed out of the room, nearly crashing into Shigure. "I'm so glad that you guys have finally been able to visit! Please eat as much as you'd like!" she called back to her guests, hinting to Shigure that he needed to leave. She whispered lowly, "please take these clothes to Yuki-kun, he's outside somewhere and he's going to need it. I can't let him catch a cold."

"You'll be a wonderful wife one day," he said dreamily. This sounded particularly wrong because of his attachments with the late Kyoko.

"What did you say, Tohru-kun?" Hana asked dryly, sensing another Sohma. Something was very strange about all this.

"Coming!"

Tohru rejoined them at the table with the remaining food, smiling. "Let's eat!"

They chatted while munching on fresh fruit and laughed between bites. They were only about ten minutes into their meal when a loud bang was heard at the backdoor and solid footsteps.

"Tohru, can you get me a clean towel from the linen closet? I forgot mine!" an almost angry sounding male voice floated into to the room.

Her face lit up. "Ah, sure, Kyou-kun!" She jumped up out of her seat and then stopped in mid-motion, realizing that she hadn't told Kyou-kun that they had arrived.

He walked into the kitchen and was startled himself. "Ah -"

"Kyon-kyon? Why here?" Arisa gasped.

"Sohma Kyou lives here." Saki filled in the blanks of the puzzle. "And those clothes from before, they were very much Sohma Yuki's style."

"Ah, I was going to tell you after desert!" Tohru said, with tears in her eyes. "This is all so bad! I've kept secrets from everyone, but I wasn't sure that Shigure would want people to know I was here and...and."

"Hey, Tohru, don't worry about it." Arisa rose and gave her a playful hug. "It's alright. Just tell us what's going on, and it'll be okay."

Unshared values with Tohru's family and Shigure's insistence that she should stay with him because of his previously budding relationship with her mother Kyoko had led her to her happy home with the Sohma family. Tohru was happy, and only worried about protecting the ones she now shared such an intimate space with.

**I'm catastrophically content; got a witness, he knows all.   
  
To come undone, I feel no shame.**

****

How quickly a vacation goes by, and how slow a school day seems.

While elevating to class 2D, a second year homeroom, along with the members of her old homeroom, she remained in a first year math class _Sigh, how depressing._ She noticed that the fanatical members of the "We Love Yuki" club now wore golden pins on their collars, true symbols of their adoration.

There was one thing that she believed she would appreciate in a class of a lower grade: they wouldn't know who Yuki was. She got the surprise of her life when she walked in the class to see about half of the girls wearing the golden medallions, gleaming in the light of the window. _Ugh, and so it begins. Already? They can't possibly know a thing about him yet; truly this school's society runs on appearances. They're disgusting._ She looked down at her nails: still black as night.

So many watchful eyes. She noticed right away that people were staring at her. She could tell by the waves in the air around her that the feeling of hatred wasn't in her imagination. She sat down in the second last row so that the majority of the people could not look at her unless they turned around in their seats.

"Hey, Ahiru-chan," Saki could hear a girl whisper to her friend. "Why does everyone have such a nasty face on? That isn't that Tohru girl Motoko told us about, is she?"

"No, she doesn't match the description. She's not as weak looking, and her hair colour and makeup isn't dark like hers."

Another girl looked at them as if they were idiots. "It's one of her friends, obviously!" She opened up a date organizer and flipped through her neatly recorded data. "Hanajima Saki, 2D, wielder of the electromagnetic force! Practically anti-social besides her bestfriends Honda Tohru and Uotani Arisa, she is surely 'boyfriendless'. Failed math last term due to her uncaring attitude. Hates light coloured things and teachers. Has been seen using a witch's broom to clean the driveway. Most likely has a pet rat as her familiar." Her list of information went on, each line becoming more absurd and unrealistic.

_Please let the bell ring soon before I have to do something about this. Please. Please. Please._

"Wow! You're great at getting information quickly, Suzuki-chan!"

Suzuki nodded, and added, "If you came to the meeting this morning in the girl's change room, you would have known that Electric Girl and The Yankee are our enemy Honda Tohru's fighting force! You all know that she is taking the Prince away from everyone! Public property." She nodded again.

_Bringing Tohru and Arisa into this; what is wrong with these girls?_ Saki was ready to stand up and give these girls a talk they wouldn't forget.

"Definitely good to know! 'I dub thee She-Devil Electric Girl!'" Ahiru giggled. "That's what I will say to her."

"Ehhh? How horrible!" A high pitched voice coming from a little boy resounded through the room. "That isn't something that should be praised. You guys are meanies!" A boy who unbelievably must have been only a year younger than she was joined the girls, clad in the female uniform.

Something lightly hit her in the back of the head, and she spun around quickly to meet the face of the perpetrator. She had been watching so intently she hadn't noticed the waves of the mysterious Hatsuharu sitting in the desk behind her.

"What are you waiting for? If they had been talking about me, they would have all been on the floor in pain by now." She stared at him incuriously; he wouldn't have suggested that if he had known about the child she had nearly killed not long ago by her waves. "You've got to defend yourself or you'll end up being walked over like Tohru," he said with a slightly joking tone in his voice. His face was as placid as ever.

_Just a small little zap to teach a lesson. It's okay, right?_ She looked at each of them as she used the smallest dose of her power as she could manage. Each girl was scared out of their wits and squealed, but were silenced by the bell.

Saki bit one of her painted nails on her left hand without thinking, and later noticed that she had broken it.

**All my life, it's made me wonder.   
  
I feel no shame to come undone.**

****

Yuki and Tohru stood close by the front door of the school discussing new implementations for the vegetable garden, while Kyou 'hung out' in front of the school gate waiting for their usual group of walking home buddies. However, waiting for the two seemed to be an excruciating pain for him, as he had this sweeping scowl across his face.

"What are you waiting for, carrot-top? Just confess to her already! It's obvious she's crazy about you - though the emotion probably rivals to the feelings she holds for Yuki. Just by seeing the little show you two put on in front of us earlier this week at your place when you came in the door. She practically needed two faces to hold that smile of hers, and it was all because of you." Arisa slapped him on the back. "'Atta boy!"

Kyou jumped anxiously. "Where'd you get that idea?! Are you asking me to hurt you?" Kyou growled after being on the receiving end of a playful shove care of Arisa. He had never thought about fighting a girl before, but he knew that Arisa could probably pack a punch if she wanted to hurt him. There was no question, he would fight back if he provoked her enough, even with the chance of him transforming from being in such close contact. For sure, he decided, curling his fists at his sides, ready for them to spring should the need arise.

"You're just _too_ obvious, Kyon-kyon. If you're going to be all sulky whenever Tohru's alone with Yuki, you've got to confess and claim her for yourself. Then it'll be understandable that you'd be pissed that she's alone with some other guy."

"When the hell did I become a suitable candidate, Yankee?" Kyou glared, thinking there must have been some sort of scheme behind all this. Where was Arisa going with this?

Arisa's face softened. "Tohru needs somebody. And while Yuki is kinder, more handsome, and generally better boyfriend material...I see something good in you. Her eyes are different when she speaks to you. She needs someone to take care of too."

"I don't need someone to take care of me!" He turned away. She had just insulted him - multiple times! _This must just be a way to mock me! Damn Yankee!_ "And I don't need _your_ advice."

Author Notes: Chapter 7; Completed June 20th 2004, Revised and Uploaded June 27th 2004.   
_Ah! This chapter was so hard to write! XX As I've said before, I've really restricted myself timewise. Lots more Tohru/Yuuki/Kyou romance subplot got into this chapter, and more slightly philosophical stuff in there. Also some poetry madness, whoo! It depresses me that it took so long to get this chapter up, I'm so sorry! Thanks for your patience, and I hope you still remember the story up to this point! XD   
Thank you all for your kind reviews! You're all wonderful hugglesquishes and Furuba plushies for all_   
Altered Excerpts from "Must Must" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics


	8. Coded Conversations

Punishment   
**Chapter 8: Coded Conversations**

It was lunchtime in the school courtyard, a time of relaxation, frolic, and most notably food. Kyou and Tohru were the first to meet outside under a blossoming cherry tree. Tohru held a lunch she had packed for herself in her arm.

"Eh...what do you mean, Kyou-kun?" she asked as she opened up a container to reveal its splendour. "Rice ball?"

He took a rice ball from her but did not eat it. Instead, he fiddled with it in his hand in nervousness. "What I mean to say is...ah hell, Tohru, I like you." Yes, Kyou had taken Arisa's advice, despite telling her to mind her own business.

"I like you too, Kyou-kun." Tohru beamed, missing the message completely. She nibbled on one of her handmade snacks.

"I don't think you get it. I don't like you in the way that you like a friend. I like you more than that, more than anyone else, even that damn rat."

"Kyou-kun..." She could feel her face burning up in light of his confession, and brought one hand to her forehead. She started babbling in a way that could barely be understood even by her own mind. "I don't know what to say! I have never had anyone say anything like this to me before. ...Are you sure? I'm so plain and klutzy, and not that interesting either - ah, I - and you must see all my annoying habits since you see me so often! How can I deserve your - "

"Hey, Tohru! I wouldn't have brought it up had I known I'd get this sort of reaction from you. You don't have to answer me right now, you know. Think about it, alright?"

Tohru nodded, the blush still visible on her cheeks. "I feel honoured to know that you like me, Kyou-kun. I've always loved the cat."

"Don't say it like that!" Kyou matched Tohru's blushing level.

"Ah, young love!" Sohma Momiji, his little German cousin bounded into the cozy scene with a cute plastic lunch box in tow.

"Argh, I hate every thing that comes out of your mouth!" Kyou grumbled, tousling his hair roughly.

"Wah, Tohru, Kyou's being mean to me!" Momiji tattled, though Tohru clearly saw the entire event and didn't need to be told.

"This is going to be a long school year." Kyou finally gave in and ate his salmon flavoured rice ball.**  
  
Would you tell, should you speak, could you say?   
  
That the love that you feel's come of age?**

Upon leaving the math classroom. Saki called smoothly to Haru, "Thank you for your help."

"Whatever for?" He shifted head slightly in order to see her out of his peripheral vision as he walked.

"Just your advice. About not letting those girls walk all over me."

"Ah, that. In moderation, projecting a little reason for them to fear you wouldn't do any harm, right?"

"It does seem to be considerably better than living out the rest of my school days being irritated by irksome people." She paused, pulling back some of her long black locks. She couldn't just end the conversation this way.

He solved her problem for her by suggesting that they join Tohru, Arisa, and the other members of the Sohma family out in the courtyard. She agreed, meeting up with the others and also the 'little boy' who had defended her in class. She learned that he was a kind hearted childish boy, and enjoyed his company.

It was a good day.

**Everyone's a star that shines.   
  
But all we see in life are the sirens.   
  
Should I tell, could I speak, could I say?   
  
All I see is mystery, now obey.**

****

As the days passed by, Saki could tell that Hatsuharu was struggling with the math work. While she hadn't done very much work outside of the classroom during her previous year, she still felt that she had enough experience to be of some assistance. She couldn't resist asking him if he needed a hand, but he replied blandly that it was the poor environment that hindered him.

She could understand it well, 'poor environment' was an understatement. The squeals of the younger girls around her chatting was not the ideal working atmosphere, and the teacher didn't seem to care very much about noise as long as he was able to concentrate on his book. "I need the right setting. But even so, I am not exactly great at school work."

She wasn't sure how it had happened, but by hook or by crook, she had been invited to Haru's home on Friday night to work on homework together. She wasn't sure what was going on in her head, which was allowing herself to get roped into unnecessary situations. However, she wanted to learn more about the electric signals of the interesting Sohma Hatsuharu, and something told her that she would be learning a mouthful.

Saki promised herself that she wouldn't let herself get too close to Haru's secrets.

**Circles me, circles you, circles all.   
  
Enchants, tantalizes, and enthrals.   
  
All we see is mystery, all in all.**

****

"I'm afraid of hurting Yuki-kun," Tohru blurted out. "I can't help it, but I feel guilty! I don't want him to feel bad. I won't be able to spend as much time alone with Yuki-kun if I agree to date Kyou-kun. I'm sure that he wouldn't want me to be alone with Yuki-kun at all. I don't want to lose him as one of my friends. But if I say no to Kyou-kun, I'll be hurting him! And would he still want to be my friend if I hurt him like that?" Tohru's mind was spinning.

Arisa and Saki stared at her for a moment. They had been eating a snack in Saki's room after school on a Thursday afternoon in comfortable silence when Tohru's burst of worried had popped out.

"Ehhh?!" Arisa freaked out. "Kyou did it? I didn't think he'd actually gather the courage!"

"Huh? You knew, Uo-chan?" Tohru asked her in amazement.

"Of course, Tohru-kun," Saki admitted gently. "We all know that Kyou and Yuki adore the ground you walk on."

"Just Kyou-kun," Tohru corrected, "there's no way for Yuki to feel that way too. Right?"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Tohru." Arisa smiled. Of course Tohru wouldn't notice such a thing.

"You really think so?" Tohru's eyes showed a deeper panic now. "Ah, that's even worse! I hope it's not true, because that means that I would be hurting him even more than I thought! Uwah!"

"Tohru, Tohru, slow down. You shouldn't just date someone because you want to make the most amount of people happy. You should date him because you love him, right?" Arisa explained. "This is about you and your feelings." She was starting to feel like _such_ a girly girl, being involved in all this 'emotion-filled crap' as she liked to call it.

"Yes, don't think about who you are hurting for a moment. Think about who you love the most." Saki agreed.

Tohru closed her eyes for a moment. "It is.. Kyou-kun, but I don't want to hurt Yuki's feelings."

"I think that this is a situation where you need to look deep in your soul to discover what your path is. You've got make the decision on your own, otherwise you may regret your choice, Tohru-kun."

"Yes, you guys are right." She still had her eyes closed, deep in thought.

**Imagine this, if it all falls in place.   
  
And the love under will comes as grace.   
  
All you'll see is mystery, face to face.**

****

Friday afternoon arrived quickly, so she hurried to meet Haru afterschool. Saki, wearing her dark cloak, carried the leftovers of a small bagged lunch in her hand and a knapsack on her back. She had already been to her locker so she stood at the top of the stairs and watched as students walked down the stairs below the guardrail. It was much too soon for him to be out of class and up to the second floor.

Students in small groups walked by, some on their way to club meetings and others just wandering the halls aimlessly. The hallways were starting to thin and become less noisy as the students quit chatting and left the building for home. She started to wonder what was taking so long. She pulled out a deck of cards from her pocket and sat down to play a quick game of solitaire to pass the time. She concentrated on the cards, searching for the eight of spades from the deck.

A part of her hoped that neither Tohru nor Arisa would come looking for her, She decided that for now, she would like to keep their homework session a secret.

She glanced up when she heard the sound of footsteps going by. It was some of those fan club girls....Minami, Mai, and Mio. Their ringleader wasn't with them, thankfully, but that didn't stop Minami from hissing, "witch," as the three girls sauntered by with their elitist attitudes.

Saki remained motionless as they passed by and headed down the stairs. As soon as they were on the steps she stood and opened up her lunch bag. She recalled Haru's words. _In moderation, projecting a little reason for them to fear you wouldn't do any harm, right?_ She pulled out half of her sandwich, tearing the crust away. She grinded the bread between her fingers in quick motions until her hand was filled with bread crumbs and broken up pieces of lettuce and ham. She leaned over the guardrail.

"Death from above," she muttered loud enough for them to hear her 'curse' as she released the crumbs over the heads of the girls below her. Mai, the girl with darker hair, had done a fast twirl in front of the others as she spoke in giddy bursts about an encounter with Yuki, so she had managed to evade the attack. Large crumbs fell softly around the girls, most of them landing in their hair. Minami was the first to react as a piece of lunch meat fell to the floor directly in front of her face. She stopped in her tracks and looked up to see the expressionless face of Saki staring down at them over the railing.

"Just what do you think you're trying to pull, Hanajima?" Minami said as the other girls stopped and glared up at Saki in a defensive stance.

She did not answer the question. Instead, she dealt out a warning. "Beware, fate is no longer in your hands," she called down to them in her most ominous tone, certain she would get a rise out of them.

The girls studied each other's faces and knew. They had been cursed by the all-powerful 'She-Devil Electric Girl.' Minami screamed, remembering something that Motoko had said about the sort of things people like Saki could achieve if they wanted.

Mio covered her face with her hands, worried that her face may have been twisting into some horrid being.

Mai sighed in relief since she hadn't been hit by the sandwich particles. "I'm safe!" Minami and Mio ran the rest of the way down stairs towards the washrooms and Mai instantly called for them to wait for her.

Saki pushed herself away from the railing and returned to her forgotten game of solitaire. She felt proud that she had come out on top for once. She didn't regret what she had done. Well, a tiny part of her felt sorry for the mess that the janitor would eventually have to clean up. She tried to study the cards again, her concentration gone after her victory.

"You can move the nine of hearts onto the ten of clubs there," a voice from beside her pointed out as he joined her.

"I thought you'd never get here," Saki said as she moved the pile of cards as Haru suggested.

"You should know one thing about me: I'll get there eventually. Even if it takes me days to reach the destination, I'll be there as long as the person waiting for me doesn't give up on me. So you can always be slow and not worry about meeting me on time, because I'll wait the same way that I would want to be waited for," Haru stated mildly.

"Ah." Saki nodded and she swept the cards into their box. "Understood."

**So put your arm around her waist.   
  
Remember old forgotten days.   
  
The seduction is strong,   
  
Under the white water siren's song.   
  
All you see is mystery, and obey.**

****

They walked together in silence, and Saki wondered if Hatsuharu really knew where he was going. They walked around one street at least three times before he seemed to gain his bearings and led them on the right path. They eventually arrived at a large fenced off area with a magnificent, old looking door.

Despite its old looks, it was electronically protected. Hatsuharu pulled open a metal cover beside it and punched in a security code. A loud click was heard, and he leaned in to pull open the door.

He turned the handle, then stopped and looked at Saki. "Hey. Do you think you could put up the hood on your cloak?"

She blinked, but did as he asked. Her hood successfully covered her long black hair. "Why?"

"You could say that it just isn't becoming of a young man to bring a lady friend to his room on a Friday night. Your cloak already hides your figure, and your hood hides your feminine hair style."

"Oh." Saki nodded, drawing the cloak closed in front of her body to hide any visible parts of her long school skirt. "Do I have to keep my cloak on inside then, to hide my gender from your parents?"

"No, that won't be a problem. I live alone here, just near my extended family."

"Are your parents...?"

"They're still around, though I don't talk to them much. I moved here because one of my cousins wanted me to be nearby. They couldn't refuse, but they didn't seem to upset to lose me either."

"I see." Saki didn't know what to say. As much as her father didn't like her in the family, she didn't send her off to live with her grandmother during her childhood. She felt compassion for his situation.

"It doesn't matter. Let's go in." He then pulled the heavy doors open and led her inside. The massive doors had been a great indication of what was to be expected, but she was still amazed at the beautiful architecture. All of the homes were stunningly gorgeous in the style of ancient Japan.

She noticed a bug in his hair. "Hold still," she demanded as she stood higher on her toes to pull the insect out, brushing her hand across his hair.

"Thanks. Can you keep your head facing the ground?" Haru asked with one hand on the handle of the door.

"But then I might trip since I don't know this landscape at all."

"Don't worry, I'll lead you."

She watched the ground under her feet numbly as Hatusharu led her by hand through the Sohma compound to his apartment.

**Circle me, circle you, circle all.   
  
Enchants, and delights, and enthrals.   
  
All we see is mystery, all in all.   
  
All we see in life are the sirens.   
  
This is ultra strong, this white water siren's song.**

****

They worked together at a low table in Hatsuharu's bedroom, their books spread out in front of them in disarray. The worked out their math problems as they listened to the pulsating beats of Hatsuharu's music of choice. Saki had never really listened to rock music before - although her mother did not openly say she could not, she let it be known that she did not exactly approve of it. But upon hearing it, absorbing the vitality of the melodies and lyrics, Saki decided that she enjoyed it very much.

They worked without speaking for the most part, only talking to help each other with problems they did not understand. It was a cozy silence.

Haru made a noise of puzzlement after tapping values into his calculator in time with the song's tempo. "This doesn't work."

Saki leaned close to him, peering at his work. He shifted a little so he would not be in her space - she didn't seem to notice. "It's nothing, you just forgot to find the square root of the subtotal at the end."

"Ah," he said, holding the page at a slightly different angle, comprehension dawning on him. "Thanks. I should have learned this method by now."

"I have done it before, you realize, so I've had another semester for it all to sink in," she explained modestly.

They fell back into their comfortable routines, Saki diligently scribbling out study notes in cursive, Haru nodding to himself as he read over an assignment. Haru suddenly turned a dial on the CD player by his side and the music faded into nothingness. He stared at the door, concentrating on something. She could sense his intensity - something was worrying him.

"What is it?" she asked softly.

He held a finger to his lips to hush her, then stood up. "Hurry, he's coming. Just do as I say, alright?" He picked up her books and piled them up under the table where they'd be unseen.

"Who -" she began, but then fell silent. She would trust him.

He slid open the door to his closet, and pushed the rows of hangers together, leaving a small space. "Sit in there, it won't be long."

She crawled into the space and once inside, Haru pushed the clothes back to the normal positions. She was almost hidden. "Be back soon," he said as he slid the door shut.

So there she knelt, enveloped between layers of Haru's clothing, all of which smelt like a lovely combination of lemon detergent and Haru himself. _Intoxicating. Why do I feel so dizzy?_ She took a deep breath and concentrated, counting slowly in her head as time passed by.

_One.... Two.... Three.... Four...._

He spun the dial, returning the music to its original intensity to suggest normality in the room. Between the folds of the fabric and through the spaces between the slats in the closet doors, she watched as he settled back into his seat at the table. He picked up his pencil and started scratching against the paper's surface. He would look busy for whoever was coming up those stairs.

She could only pray that she would remain unseen, that her eyes wouldn't give her away. She was being ridiculous, but the confines of the closet seemed to be closing in on her. Her wooziness did not seem to be going away. She closed her eyes and pressed herself against the door, continuing to count. She ignored the part of her that questioned his actions. Why would it be so horrible for that person to see them studying together? Was there really something wrong her being there? What was with this separate compound his family lived in; was it some sort of separate society for Sohmas alone?

_Twenty five.... Twenty six.... Twenty seven...._

There was a knock at Haru's door, and she opened her, her counting interrupted. She took in another deep breath, holding it in to keep herself absolutely still. She could feel her heart beating faster. Who was there? She could feel the person's energy already; it was similar to Hatsuharu's, but colder, disbelieving, and broken. Or maybe it was just her fear of what could possibly be coming through that door that was making her come to such melancholy conclusions so easily.

"Come in, Hatori," Haru said solemnly, not looking up from his work.

Saki leaned closer to the slats so she could see the door open, and saw a tall man step into the room, clothed in doctor's garb. He left the door open behind him. His actions didn't lead her to believe that he'd stay for long.

"Just checking in," Hatori explained. "I have to be getting back to Akito soon."

"Mm," Haru said, still writing on his paper to keep himself busy. He did not seem to be concerned in the least, so it must have been a regular occurrence.

"Make sure you eat dinner soon. Remember you've got to make an appointment with me sometime, your annual checkup needs to be arranged."

"I'll drop by your office later then."

Hatori seemed to be satisfied and left the room and headed downstairs. Hatsuharu remained in his place until he heard the faint sound of a car leaving the driveway.

"Ah, sorry, Saki-chan," he said as he got up, a half-amused smile on his face. "He is pretty easy to decieve." He slid the closet door open quickly, and Saki, who had been leaning on the wooden frame of the door tumbled forward into Haru, catching him by surprise.

There was a noticeable change in his wavelengths. She crawled out and stretched out her limbs. "Much better, I was beginning to feel claustrophobic. May I ask why he came to visit?" She looked up and didn't see Hatsuharu at all. "Hatsu-" Only the form of a cow materializing in front of her from a cloud of white dust; a sturdy cow with deep, grey eyes that watched her facial expressions with as much dread as a cow could portray. His school uniform was in a messy pile around his four legs.

"Cow...-san?" Saki said, puzzled, to say the least. When was the last time she had seen a cow? Down at her grandparents' farm, the last time she had spoken to her grandfa- _there's no time to think of the past, she told herself. What am I thinking about at a time like this?_

She got down on her knees to look at the cow's eyes, She reached out with a tentative arm, brushing the cow's slightly shaggy hair out of its eyes. Or rather 'his.' The logical portion of her brain told her she was being silly, seeing as cows were the female counterparts of bulls, but she knew by her sixth sense, and also by her heart, that Hatsuharu's soul was still encompassed within the creature's body. The sense of touch confirmed her intuition; the feeling of her fingers against his fur was the same feeling she had gotten when she touched his human tresses earlier.

She had known all along that there was something different about Hatsuharu that had attracted her to him and the other members of the Sohma family. To find out that he could take the form of a cow was amazing. This was his curse.

He was scared, she could tell, turning his massive face away from her.

"Hatsuharu, you are beautiful like this, do you realize?" Saki said soothingly, touching the side of his neck. "You don't have to be embarrassed in front of me."

He didn't reply. She wasn't sure if he simply couldn't speak like this, or if he was too worried. "Don't worry, we all have secrets. I'll keep yours safe."

He nodded, and suddenly turned around.

"Something is wrong...?"

Saki discovered soon enough as she got a glimpse of his backside as he transformed back into his human form before slipping on his clothes. She looked away quickly to give him his privacy.

"Sorry." Haru said as he finished buttoning up his school uniform. He hung up his jacket and closed the closet door.

"For what?" Saki asked.

"For burdening you with this secret."

"Then sorry for burdening you with mine back when we were strangers."

"It's hardly a burden." Haru stated.

"Then we agree that neither of us are burdening each other."

"Un."

He stood up and offered her his hand. She accepted it, and allowed him to pull her up.

Still holding one of her hands, he vocalized without a trace of a Japanese accent, "Arrete-moi si tu veux." She couldn't understand something as simple as the phrase, 'stop me if you want,' even after somehow passing the mandatory French class all students had to pass in middle school. It was humourous to him. Inside, he was grinning at Saki's blank expression, his eyes darkening.

"Je ne sais pas," she replied. It was one of the few phrases she knew off by heart when it came to the French language; 'I don't understand,' was a very valuable phrase for a girl like Saki who rarely completed her daily homework.

He leaned in towards her and pressed his lips against her mouth as his empty hand searched for hers. He expected her to try to stop him, and was surprised to feel her responding to him. He tried to keep his Black side harnessed. Saki's heart was beating heavily and her eyes fluttered open as he pulled back.

"That's the toll for the secret." He pulled away, knowing that the kiss had been the second one that he had stolen from her.

"I never collected for mine." Saki placed her arms on his shoulders and startled him again by initiating another. Telling him that it was okay, that his alternate form didn't matter, that she wanted to be closer to him, even if his curse wouldn't allow it.

"I want to know more," she breathed, "about you."

For the second time in a short while, she was carefully pressed against the wood of the closet door, only this time she had no qualms about it. She enjoyed every minute that she was allowed to spend with Hatsuharu, even with the more violent side of himself making appearances periodically. She didn't mind, feeling exhilarated by his ferocity and drive. She invoked light instances of her electric powers, which seemed to provoke him even more.

Of course, she was willing to use it in stronger doses whenever he stepped out of line.

The pencil alongside his books on the table were not touched, and neither were Saki's things which had remained stashed underneath the table.

She had promised herself that she wouldn't get too close to Hatsuharu and learn his secrets. But she wanted to. She wanted to know him deeply and thoroughly, no matter what the consequences. With little reserve, she allowed herself to listen to him, to touch him, to become drawn in by him, and she allowed him the same rights towards herself.

He nudged her towards the comfort of the bed, and she allowed herself to be steered there. The concept of time didn't exist as she was told about the curse of the Sohma family and the problems it entailed between intimate moments shared between the two. She was warned with great emphasis to beware of Hatori, for he could remove Sohma Hatsuharu from her memory.

Without even realizing that she had fallen asleep, she woke up to the sun in her eyes, covered in a blanket. She was in a bed which wasn't her own, and when she sat up, she noticed Hatsuharu lying at the across the end of the bed on top of the blanket, so not to disturb her. She glanced at a digital alarm clock, and its flourescent green light screamed out 5:30 AM. She realized that it must have been Saturday morning, and all she was wearing was her lacy black bra and the skirt of her uniform.

Her mother was going to kill her. She had never been so reckless in her life.

She sat up and buttoned up her blouse which at some point had been removed, then pulled on her socks which she found beside the bed. Running her fingers through her hair, she tried to make herself presentable before reprimanding herself. _Appearance shouldn't matter_. She shook Hatsuharu gently until he woke up with a fighting reflex. Upon seeing her face as his eyes gained focus, he immediately apologised.

"I've got to go. I shouldn't be here."

He rolled off the bed and stood up. "I know. You've got to be careful when leaving the compound."

"We should _study_ together again next weekend." Haru suggested with a slight grin on his face.

"Yes, let's." Saki bowed. "Until we meet again." Forgetting that she had brought her cloak with her and leaving her notebook and backpack behind, she turned to leave Haru's small home.

Haru stopped her, handing her his favourite jacket. It was the one that he had worn when they first met at the bus stop so long ago. "Don't catch a cold."

"I'm sure I won't now."

Barely conscious of her footing on the slick dew of the morning coating the grass, Saki ran out of the enormous Sohma compound. She did not want any unexpected encounters on this, especially after being warned to keep away from the man Haru mentioned. She ran towards the gate without looking back - it was the idea that if she didn't see anyone, no one would see her either. Childish, she knew, but she did not reflect on this point for more than a few seconds. She only concentrated on her current goal: the gate.

They had shared something together. However, neither of the two had noticed the door opening a sliver and closing again softly during Hatsuharu's transformation the night before, which could only lead to more problems.

_It seems that phase two has started already, before I even had time to realize that phase one had taken place. I always wondered how these sort of situationd in romance novels could ever take off without careful planning. Apparently, things that happen are beyond my control. Things seem so static, but looking back, I can tell that things careened out of control without me being conscious of it._

Or maybe not. That knowledge may have just passed me as well. How do I know, and how will I learn? This is senseless, going on like this. I should allow things to come towards me with open arms, to be prepared for the tasks at hand. 

She shuddered in the cold air of the morning, even while wrapped up in the warmth of Hatsuharu's jacket. She smiled, just thinking of his wry smile warming me up a little. She chastised herself for acting so foolishly, but for the moment, she allowed myself to enjoy the comfort of the opulent fur collar against her neck and chin. _So warm...._

**The seduction is strong,   
  
Under the white water siren's song.**

****

Author Notes: Chapter 8; Completed June 28th 2004, Revised and Uploaded July 2nd 2004.   
_Ah, this chapter was far too long, so I hope you survived! Over 5000 words for one chapter, most of the others were only 3500-4000 words or so. Couldn't help it though! Hope you enjoyed the much requested SakiXHaru interaction there. I had to up the rating to PG13 for implied such and such. XD   
Thank you all for your kind reviews! You're all wonderful! passes out some snacks_   
Altered Excerpts from "White Water Siren" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics


	9. Treading a Tougher Path

**Punishment  
Chapter 9: Treading A Tougher Path**

**Did you come here lamenting what you missed? **

**Overcome and seduced by this, the beautiful abyss. **

**I tried to change.**

Saki arrived at her home by 6:30AM, shivering slightly in Haru's jacket. She stood at the door and reached into her pocket for her keys. Instead of feeling the desired object, she felt a folded piece of paper. Then she realized that she remembered she wasn't wearing her cloak - she had left that behind, including her keys.

She rested her head against the glass portion of the screen door in defeat, running her fingers through her hair in a low-effort attempt to smooth it. _Well, that takes out the possibility of being able to sneak into the house without being noticed._

The sound of the wooden door behind the outer screen caused her to start. Her mother stood behind the glass, her car keys in hand and a worn out expression on her face. Saki stepped back and pulled the screen open.

"Saki-chan," her mother said, shaking her head. "Where in heaven's name have you been all night? Coming home at such an hour, this isn't like you!"

_Yes, it must be my turn to play the sycophant._ She smiled to her mother for a moment, knowing that she would have to be quite coy to pull this off. "I'm sorry, Mother. I was at Tohru's home studying for an upcoming test." She hated lying like this, but she held back the remorseful emotion to maintain a blank face.

_Following in _his_ footsteps. Indifference works wonders to hide all blemishes._

"It got really late, and I was so tired from studying. I fell asleep at the -"

"You're lying," her mother interrupted. "I looked in your phone book. I called both Uotani-san and Honda-san, and you were not at either location. What were you thinking, Saki-chan? That I wouldn't find out? I certainly hope that you aren't getting into trouble with any boys."

Saki walked past her into the house.

"Saki!" With the drop of the loving suffix, Saki knew she had to turn around. Family law.

"Yes, Mother?"

"I'm trying to watch out for you, that's why I drove you to school everyday last year. What are you trying to do this year? You stopped attending religious functions with the rest of us, your family! You failed a course for the first time after ignoring my request that you find a tutor. You had said that you had it under control. And lately you leave to walk to school before I even wake up to drive you."

"That is because - "

"Saki-chan, Saki-chan. I don't know if you think that you don't need me anymore. But you're still a child, and I know you must still feel trapped by those voices. I don't need you to be out running around, getting into mischief. Things have a way of getting out of hand quickly when it comes to you, and I don't want a repeat of what happened at your old school."

_Childish. Trapped. Running Away. I'm not like that anymore. I swear I've changed._

"You always wanted me to be more normal, didn't you? I am becoming reckless like they are, and you do not like it?" Saki asked; quietly, softly, cynically - all in one.

Her subdued question was ignored. "I don't want you to pull any stunts like this again, do you hear me?"

"I don't hear _them._"

"Pardon me?" Her mother stared at her, traces of confusion found in her expression.

"I don't hear the voices as much as I used to. I do have control unlike before." She released the information from her lips, repeating it to herself like a mantra. "Yes, I have control. For sure, I will not run away and be trapped by them." She walked out of the room and heard an audible sigh as she climbed the stairs.

"I'm going to the store. You'd better not leave the house; I'll be back in about half an hour." Her voice called up as she heard the front door slam.

**I know I'll be alright if I make it through tonight. **

**I swear I'll try to change once again. **

**For you. Or maybe for me.**

Tohru stood in front of the kitchen cupboard, her hands clasped in anticipation. It was very early in the morning, but she had plans for that day. She sung softly to herself as she pulled out dishes to hold her masterpiece of a breakfast - a meal that she had specifically chosen for a certain member of the household.

She could only hope that he wouldn't wake up and ruin the surprise. He always woke up before Shigure, and most definitely before Yuki. She rushed to the table with a large, glass serving dish covered in salmon, cod, and tuna flavoured rice balls. His favourite kinds.

They were to soften the blow. As much as her heart had wanted to return Kyou's feelings, she felt that it was for the best to maintain their friendly relationship. She didn't want to destroy the atmosphere between her and the other inhabitants of the household. After he confessed to her, she had realized that she felt more than friendship for him...but that would make things difficult in the house, wouldn't it? Her mind was buzzing.

"Hey, you're certainly," - a crash interrupted the sentence - "up... early."

"I'm sorry!" Tohru cried out instantly. "Don't move or you might cut yourself!" She flew around him picking up the pieces of the dish she had dropped in her surprise, accidentally squishing some rice beneath her toes. She reached down and removed some small pieces that were around his feet with haste.

"Tohru!" Kyou barked. "Don't use your hands to do that, dummy. You're going to slice your fingers if you keep that up." He knelt down and grabbed one of her hands before she could pick up anymore to inspect it. "See? You've already got a piece of glass in your pinky finger."

"But it's okay! I've got to pick up the rest before anyone steps on it."

"Stop worrying about that for now. I'll sweep it up in a few minutes. Sit here." he ordered gruffly but kindly, a small, amused smile visible on his face.

She sat down on one of the low stools. "Now, stay here and don't move. I'll be right back." He poked her nose then left the room for a minute. He came back armed with a set of tweezers, disinfectant and cotton swabs.

She stared at him incredulously as he concentrated with her small hand clamped in his left hand's grasp as his right used the tweezers carefully. She watched his eyes flicker between her hand and herself every once in a while, and she felt her heart race.

"Are you catching something? Your face is a little flushed."

Her free hand rushed to her face to cover it. She managed to muster, "No, it's nothing! Don't worry about me, I feel bad enough that you are worrying so much about my hand right now." She fretted silently in her head as she studied the way his hair shifted as he dedicated his skill to saving her pinky from the sliver of glass. It hurt a little as he dabbed on the disinfectant, but she clenched her other hand and willed the pain away.

After a few minutes, the piece of glass had been removed and her finger was packaged nicely in a pink bandaid.

Kyou could only make a sour face as he imagined what Yuki would have done in an exaggerated onstage production in his mind.

_"There you are, Princess Tohru. I'll watch over you and make sure that you stay out of harms way." That characteristic charming smile would be shown. Typical. _

"Oh, Yuki! My prince. I love you, very much so." Tohru would gush, then give him a hug. Of course, since their love was so pure, it would magically break the curse. Yeah, wouldn't that be splendid. Grr, that would not do at all, he decided. Kyou lived out another strange fantasy in his head as he worked. _Instead of the Tohru being the one breaking the curse, Tohru'd be the one breaking his heart. That'd be better. Much better. _Kyou's internal thoughts turned the scowl he was trying to hide into a grin.

Kyou picked up the remaining cotton swabs in his hand and stood up. "You're done. Don't be such an idiot next time." Okay, so that wasn't exactly eloquent. At all.

"Right!" Tohru said, nodding in assent, taking no offense in his words. "Please sit down Kyou-kun, I've made you breakfast. Though you'll have to wait for me to bring new rice balls. They've been...detained." She smiled as she reached for the broom in the corner of the room.

Without sitting down, he took the broom from her hands. "I told you I'd clean it up didn't I?"

"Ah, I guess you did, but I was the one who - "

He lifted a finger to his lips, and she fell silent. "That's right."

He started sweeping and she felt warm. She beamed as she hurried to the kitchen counter and retrieved the soup for their breakfast.

"Hey, Tohru," Kyou said tentatively.

She stopped in mid step, the pot of soup in hand.

"Did you think about what I asked you?" Kyou asked, nervous feelings quite apparent. He wanted to get the questions out of the way so he could stop feeling nervous that Shigure would come in and tease him.

Tohru stared at the pot of soup, her eyes falling to the bandaid which had been lovingly applied by him, then raised her gaze back up to him. "Yes, I have. I... I... let's sit down." She faced away from him, her face reddening as she held back threatening tears.

**I never wanted to be a simple man. **

**I'd rather live all my days as a lion than a thousand as a lamb. **

**I only wanted to see what would happen to me **

**if I followed the road that leads to the palace we all seek.**

Haru was unable to sleep after Saki left, so he puttered away at the homework, punching numbers into his calculator. The answer was still not matching the answer key. Just what the heck was he doing wrong? He glanced over to the empty half of the table. Where was Saki when he needed her? He wondered if she had discovered his secret message yet. He grinned a little to himself, then remembered the daunting book in front of him. Ugh.

He couldn't concentrate. He could hear a faint buzzing sound coming from somewhere. It was very light, but when he didn't have the radio on, he could really notice it.

'I'm giving myself excuses to be distracted.' he shook his head.

"Haru," a voice startled him. A figure appeared in the doorway, brushing his hair out of his eyes. Annoyance was clearly audible through his tone. "You know that Akito would not approve of a young outsider - and a woman, no less - staying overnight at any residence on the Sohma property."

"I wouldn't have expected that it would be acceptable." His pen moved in circles against the page without leaving a mark. "Something's wrong my pen," Haru mumbled. "Ah, did Hiro finally reel in a catch? What ever will Kisa say?"

Haru's visitor sighed. "You know what I'm talking about. I don't want to play games with you."

Hatsuharu carelessly looked up from his desk. "No? Not even cards? Rich man, poor man? Rummy? Go Fish?"

"Listen, I have certain matters to attend to. The girl I saw this morning running across the compound, if she's important to you, you will make the right choice. Get out of this tangle now, matters can only get worse for us. I'm living proof. As the members of the Zodiac, we have no privacy. Everything can be found out."

_Akito is not God._

The man closed the door behind him as he left the room.

Haru, sitting in front of his open textbooks, stared at the wall in front of him. The weak buzzing continued overhead. His pen continued to circle listlessly against the paper.

His hand abruptly stopped as his back straightened. Black ink splattered against his skin as the plastic casing cracked beneath his fingers. "Dammit, Hatori, what do you want me to do? Akito is not God!"

Plastic shards fell to the floor as he stood up. He swept his homework off the table and into the air. Traces of ink embedded themselves into dents from his fists as he struck against the only available surfaces. "Akito is not God!" A pile of books crashed to the floor from a shelf which fell from its brackets.

His white personality began to reemerge, and he sat down amidst the chaos which he himself had created. The feeling of temporary displacement fled quickly, leaving only the word, "Saki," on his breath as he rested his head into his palm.

**Did you come here lamenting what you missed? **

**Overcome and seduced by this, the beautiful abyss. **

**You're like a shadow that swallows life who is crawling over me.**

Tohru led the way to the table and Kyou followed her. She smiled a little as she spooned some of the soup she had made just for him into a bowl and passed it to him. The she obtained some for herself, and set down the ladle. She brought her spoon to her lips painfully slow, giving her mind a chance to catch up with her emotions.

"I want to be selfish, just this once, when it comes to love."  
Inner-Tohru wagged her finger gently, the imaginary movement matching each syllable. _"It's not worth it."_  
"Do you really think that?"  
_"Yes! This path is not easy. It doesn't guaranty safety."_  
"Does any relationship guaranty safety?"  
_"Good point."_  
"I want to be with him and embrace all of him."  
_"I...I do too. I do too... ...Mom? Please help me."_  
_"Tohru, you should do things your own way. Take or miss the chances of success in a way that makes you most comfortable."_

Tohru squinted her eyes and jolted backwards in her seat a little as her tongue touched the liquid soup. "Ah, hot!"

Kyou looked at her awkwardly from the other side of the table. "A...Are you okay?" He stood up in his seat momentarily until she smiled.

Embarrassed, Tohru set down her utensil. "Sorry," she said meekly. She suddenly looked up from her soup with determination.

"I have been thinking about it a lot these past few days. I'm having a hard time though. When I started my day, I was planning on running away from this entire situation by saying no. But...the longer I stay by your side, the harder it is to ignore my feelings."

"Tohru," he frowned a little, and crossed his arms over his chest expecting the negative "but," part of her confession to appear."

"But Kyou-kun, I... I want to be with you."

Kyou jumped up in his seat, knocking his soup over in the process. Ignoring it, he rubbed his ears. "Tohru?"

She came around the table and sat next to him. "Yes, you didn't imagine it," Tohru teased kindly. She leaned forward, his eyes widening momentary, and wrapped her arms around him. She caught the orange cat which had appeared in his place and held him close.

With a bad case of the kitty-blush only Kyou was able to emit, Kyou yelped, "Tohru!"

She smiled brightly. "Sorry, I couldn't resist!" She set him down onto the floor, giggling a little. "This is the second time we've had to clean this floor today."

"I could have helped if you hadn't transformed me," he grumbled a little. "That time it was my fault."

"No, no, no!" she said with a grin. "You cleaned up when I dropped the plate, I'll clean up when you spill your soup. It can be our thing." Suddenly she changed her voice into a gruffer tone. "Now, stay here and don't move. I'll be right back," she said, copying the words he had said to her earlier.

It was Kyou's turn to grin, his good mood radiating from his fur.

She reemerged equipped with a mop and bucket. "Seems like this is going to be a messy relationship," she admitted, pushing the mop across the spill.

"Hope that's not a metaphor for our situation." Kyou grimaced.

"Even if it is, we can always clean up again," she beamed at her own cleverness. Dipping the mop into the buck again, she asked modestly, "Ne, Kyou-kun...can we wait to tell the others a little bit? I don't know how to tell them yet..."

Before he could answer, Shigure sauntered into the room and saw the two place settings on the table. "Oh, my little wife has forgotten about me! I need to be taken care of too." Shigure pouted.

"Shi-Shigure-san! I'm so sorry!" She set down the mop and went into the kitchen to get more bowls. And to finish those poor, abandoned rice balls.

"Shigure!" Kyou's fur stood on end. "Don't make me come over there!"

"Oh ho ho, so you can scratch me, Kyou-who-is-a-cat?" Shigure waved a hand jovially. "You and Tohru must have been embracing in the kitchen of love, yes?"

Kyou's orange face turned red once again. "Don't say things like that, dammit!" Oh, how he wished he was human at that very moment. Flying fists of fury would be headed his way.

"Kyou's in love with a highschool girl," he sang out of tune, unknowing that the "embrace in the kitchen of love", as he so vibrantly put it, had really occurred.

Yuki wobbled into the noisy kitchen in his typical morning garb. "Transformed so early, stupid cat?" he mumbled as he instinctively grabbed for the milk carton.

"Shut up," Kyou retorted as he padded out of the room. So quietly that no one could hear he murmured, "just wait til you find out about me and Tohru."

**Innocence is a face that always lies. **

**Innocence is a wish for some, but it's something I can't buy. **

**What are you trying to prove? **

**So many mountains to move. **

**And all your demons are heaven sent, my lost cathartik friend.**

For the first time, she had lied to her mother. Saki felt sick to her stomach, knowing that her mother really was just looking out for her. She frowned. She collapsed on her bed and stuffed her hands in the pockets of Haru's jacket again.

She felt the piece of paper again. Normally she would have ignored it, but she was sure that it was there for a reason.

She pulled it out and read the characters she recognized as Hatsuharu's messy scrawl. It was addressed to her formally. _He must have planned for me to take the jacket with me all along,_ she mused.

_Thanks for a great time, Saki-chan. I won't forget it. Our little secrets, of course._

A tiny crease at the corner of Saki's mouth crinkled - she was smiling. She reread the brusque letter in her hands before folding it into four quarters. She opened an old remedial geography notebook she had abandoned years before and tucked the note between the pages. The book was returned to its original place to live out the rest of its natural life as a potential storage place for many notes to come.

She pulled out a piece of paper and with a black pen wrote, _Likewise, I'm sure. I don't believe that I could ever forget_, with flourish. She tucked the new note inside the sleeve of the jacket for him to discover upon its return.

Even with happiness brought on by the surprise note, a large portion of herself was upset that she had angered her mother. To get her mind off the arguments that they had been happening as of late, she spent most of her day lying on her bed while listening to music. Classical sounds floated out majestically into the room. She flipped through an old album of pressed flowers she had collected as a child as the resounding notes filled the air with an ever-changing mood. One moment the air filled with a stringed orchestra before they were interrupted by booming sounds of brass instruments taking centre stage.

Each page she turned contained a variety of types of flowers, all preserved in a plastic lining, some dwelling alongside matching, flat ribbons to accentuate their beauty. "Flowers for my little flower," her grandmother had always said to Saki with a smile whenever they pressed flowers together. Encased in their plastic prison, those flowers would never again be given the chance to live out their true calling in lives. It was a little depressing to think about, so she closed the album before placing it underneath her bed for storage once more.

Perhaps she needed something more substantial to focus her energies on, so she made a strange decision: her English homework. It was a struggle to analyse the works of English poets when many of their words were still unfamiliar to her, but she quite enjoyed writing in the foreign language. It was a challenge for herself, to be able to write in another tongue and still be understood by others. The rules of writing had to be followed, all of those laws of grammar and punctuation. Readers were the only ones who could judge your piece, but really, they didn't matter too much. If she could understand it herself, it didn't matter if the teacher didn't think it was suspenseful or gripping. That was the way it was. She needed one hundred and fifty words to write a dramatic monologue to be spoken in front of the class.

She thought for a few minutes, but she realized that she couldn't concentrate. She reached towards her stereo. With a flip of a switch, her classical compact disc stopped spinning in its confine and loud static momentarily flooded out of the speakers. She winced at the sound; it felt like hundreds of garbled voices were streaming into the airwaves around her.

Overwhelming.

She quickly turned a dial to tune into a radio station for the first time. With the small tuner set to a working radio station, the myriad of voices smoothed into one fluid baritone, the main singer of a rock band.

The style of the music brought on nostalgia, brining her back to the mental state she had possessed when working along side Haru. With the appropriate working conditions, she felt at peace. She thought for a few minutes, then her pen rolled across the page.

_It's much too soon to let go. No matter how slim the chances are, there is still that thread that remains steadfast. Such a little thread to put all of your life on the line for, but if you wish hard enough, the thread will not come undone. It's far too early to give up, and much too late to go back. Just you wait and see, it'll be just you and me. _

We'll stay here and bury ourselves away. Keep the flimsy curtains drawn, and close all of those doors. Let's lock away our souls and throw away that key. The glass has shattered, the hinges have rusted. The paint is peeling, the walls are stained. The house that we hide inside has been destroyed, but there are still two figures standing inside its weakened frame: us. We will stand there, waiting and wishing.

Only one hundred and forty five words, not quite enough.

_We will survive, because that is our will._

Hanajima Saki 2D

One hundred and fifty three. Complete.

Of course, memorizing it would be a different story.

Her mother, who had returned home and was making a meal for her youngest children in the kitchen looked up at the ceiling above her. She could easily hear the music coming from her daughter's bedroom. She wondered what was getting into Saki - first coming home from who-knows-where in the morning, then listening to music like that? She shook her head, more than a little disappointed.

Obviously, she didn't realize that her unstudious child was really doing homework up there. In fact, had Saki not left her math notebook at Haru's, she would studied for that upcoming math test as well. She was just in that kind of mind set.

Oh, the mysterious complexities of her personality that her mother would never know.

**What did you come here to see? **

**What are you trying to be?**

**You're like a shadow that swallows life who is crawling over me.**

Quadratics. Hypotenuses. The bane of her existence, surely, but she knew that if she followed their structured rules of existence, she could overcome their awful terror and get closer to never having to deal with the complex math ever again. Oh, the drama!

Saki was feeling a bit worried as she was writing her math test that she and Haru had studied for together. She was doing great on her paper, her pencil scratching out answers that she was sure had to be correct. Hatsuharu's seat right behind her was vacant, and instead he had chosen a window seat that day. Maybe the sunshine helped him focus, she hoped. She didn't even want to think that he was evading her; she hadn't been able to talk to him all day.

She looked over to him. He was sitting with his test paper face down on the desk, one leg crossed over the other with his eyes closed. He chewed on the tip of his pencil, a nervous trait which was hardly something she had ever expected the calm, self-assured Haru to exhibit. His eyes looked dark against the bright blue backdrop of the sky in the window beside him, worried even. Had he finished his test already? Impossible.

"Hanajima-san. Please stop staring out the window in a daze; finish your test already, then you can leave and go outside as much as you want."

Haru opened his eyes briefly and they caught each other's gaze. He quickly looked down at the blank side of his test paper.

He had, without question, forfeited. Saki had no idea why he would do such a thing.

"Ah, yes." Saki rubbed the side of her face and went back to work, her concentration falling back into mathematics-mode.

She finished the test with minutes to spare, and she sat in anticipation of the bell. She stood up and handed her test in, then returned to her desk to pack up her things. She looked up to check on Hatsuharu's status: he was already gone.

Pushing her writing utensils into her pencil case, she hurried out the door past some students who were staying past the beginning-of-lunch bell to complete their work. She noticed Momiji was still scrawling on the last page of his paper vehemently in effort to finish it as quickly as he could.

Where had he gone? Saki obtained her lunch, hoping that he would show up to eat with everyone as they normally did. She headed down to the cafeteria, and as she had suspected, he hadn't shown up yet. Arisa greeted her with a wave from the table she sat at with Yuki.

"Have you seen Haru at all?" she asked when she got close enough.

"Nope, not at all. And it'd be hard to miss with that eccentric dye job." Arisa shook her head. Yuki looked up at her with a slightly raised eyebrow. Arisa rolled her eyes a little, knowing exactly what he was thinking. "Don't worry, I don't think your silver hair is odd, your highness." A small chuckle escaped her lips.

"I will be back then, please save a spot for me."

"Right on," she said with a wave as her dark haired friend floated away in search. Arisa drummed her fingers against the cafeteria table as she sat at one of the ends. Yuki was sitting beside her with papers spread out in front of him. So like the studious prince to work instead of eat in the cafeteria. Arisa couldn't help but laugh a little, and he gave her a curious look. Again.

"Jeez, everyone's turned love struck or something. Look's like it's just us, Prince."

"Actually, I've got a meeting to attend to, Uotani-san," he said, smiling apologetically. "I'll be off."

And off he went. Arisa looked around at the vacant table, which looked huge with only her sandwich and cola residing on one end. "Well, this was a little unexpected."

"Uoooo-chaaaan! Where is everybody!" Bouncing up to the table with a massive lunch for such a little boy, the blond haired bunny was all smiles.

_Great, now the exuberant kid shows up_, she couldn't help from sighing out loud. What an akward lunch this would be.

**The time's come again, it's nearing the end. **

**But I feel no shame. **

**Do you feel the same? **

Author Notes: Chapter 9; Completed January 19th 2005, Revised and Uploaded March 13th 2005.  
_Wow! Um...another period of no-updates for this piece of fiction. Oh my goodness, so many of these scenes have been rewritten and rewritten again and again. I am still so very unsatisfied too! But I felt awful, since I'm still getting reviews about this story even after months of stagnation. So yes, you'll have to survive with this not-up-to-par chapter, and hope that the next chapter is nicer to me. The toughest part? Tohru and Kyou's scenes. So difficult, and I still think that Tohru seems too out-of-character. X Sigh. _  
Altered Excerpts from "Cathartik" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics


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